I finally made up my mind of what I wanted, of what I was willin to do, and thennnnn all HELL BREAKS LOOSE. My two best friends are fighting, i am fighting, we are all jsut fighting and we end up going around in circles alll day. Classic guy excuse for getting out of something that THEY wanted, that THEY Started, that THEY were in control of is, "i don't want to break her heart later on..." fuck that! You think that a girl is not smart enough to know how her heart may be broken, that if she was worried about being hurt and that she did not trust u enough with it that she would give it to u???? Guys are just clueless to how girls work sometimes. And that excuse of breaking their heart,... aww that makes u look so nice and manly and kind. But ya know what? It is a lame excuse and I can see right thru it! Don't worry about me, worry about urself. I went into this knowing full well of the concequences. If I wasn't willing to take the risk I wouldn't still be here.

Bad timing... the cause of EVERY SINGLE FUCKING problem. Not just my problems or dissagreements, but everyone's. I have had the opportunity to listen to a lot of ppl vent over the past few years and bad timing, or mis timing is the cause of most problems.

People just need to talk to each other... not to someone else who will carry the message to the other person. One can bat back ideas with someone not involved, but that does not mean that that makes the person now involved or has the right to butt their head and translate what was said. It is up to the individuals involved to talk it out themselves.

I keep apologizing because I keep making up that the reasons for all these problems is something I did... it is easier to fix urself and your own mentality than to try and change that of someone else's.

We try to plan everything. We try to figure out exactly what we want before we go diving head first. But as I just realized, as much planning and thinking you do, it is impossible to prevent it from falling on ur head and messing up things. Emotions change, ideas change, just being in a new situation makes complications. We cannot prevent that from happening, but what we can do is accept that changes do happen, that we can't predict or lay out exactly what we want to occure. We have to take the unexpected effects and deal with them, decide how to follow the path now. Not get frusterated bc it is not what we planned on, bc we thought we could overcome these predictable barriers. No one can avoid surprises. We try and try and try... and lose. But that is not reson to give up, to not find another way. Even if that "other way" is to change plans completely.

P.S. People are also fuckin hipocrites. In one way or another ALL of them are. (myself included)

yes.
*nod* i know how that goes...
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