My dad went back to the doctor's today and he lost 9 pounds and his cholesterol went down major.. to like 4.8 or something. (5 is good) He still has a far while to go but I'm happy for him. I want him to live to see those grandkids he's always talking about. Which at the rate I am going, he won't see me dating anyone till I'm like 32 or something, which means he's got to wait a whiiiiile. I have to spend this evening with my damn grandparents. i wish I liked them more, cuz they are the only ones I have ever known. All I wanted this christmas for our traditions was for our family to still have christmas eve together... no interruptions like visiting the grandparents. grrrr. It doesn't feeel like christmas at all. I like the snow on the ground, the fireplace lit, the cold air, the bundled up with hot chocolate christmas... and it is a freakin 50 degrees raining outside, with clouds and no fireplace. Hot choc is out of the question cuz I am sitting here with a tshirt and shorts on. haha. man o man.

I miss so many things. I try to please everyone. I want to help more than I can. I expect more than most are capable of giving. Is that too much? Is it worth it? I dunno.

I am afraid that I will never get to thank Mrs Curry or say goodbye to her. Some people are saying she will pass away before the New Year and I didn't know that. She is truley a magical person for having continued to serve us this far with so much care. I don't know what I will regret saying if she leaves before I can say thank you. It will definately be the biggest funeral Hershey will have in a while. Oh god,... funeral... how aweful. Maybe I will write her a card and send it to her soon. Everyone let those this holiday season know what they mean to you. All I want for christmas is a letter.. a thoughtful letter. Just let me know what is on your mind. [email protected]

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