:) James is coming October 29th! I'm excited about it. He hasn't been to Petersburg in a while anyway. He agreed to go to a Halloween party in downtown Petersburg with me. I didn't think he'd want to do it. He probably doesn't but is because it's something I really want to do. Anna is going too still I think. It'll be fun.

I need to ask for that day off. When I get to work today, I also need to ask what my pay rate is and if I can get Halloween off so I will have at least a full day with James. I also need to pick out a semi-nice hotel to stay. There are also a few things I want to buy before he gets here. They aren't gifts thought because nearly every time I've bought him a gift that he didn't know of, he'd think it was silly. Hmph! haha

So I stayed at Anna-Marie's house and we had lots of nice, long talks. Most of our talks were of our past, her crush, and my ex's. Just know it was interesting.

So I bring you two lists: "You are still a boy (not a man) if..." and "I love James because he..."

You are a boy (not a man) if:
1. You've never had a real job.
2. Your parents are the main source of income.
3. You've never paid an electricity, rent, phone, or water bill with your money.
4. You don't know what a W-2 is.
5. You are a virgin and believe that the plastic girls you see in porn and rap videos is only what's acceptable in a girlfriend.
6. You're in "love" with 5+ different girls within a year.
7. You can't buy cigarettes.
8. You don't know what a clit is.
9. Your mom and dad still wake you up for school.
and last, but definitely not least, 10. You still live with your parents.

(Not to say that being a boy is bad. But GOD. Stop calling yourselves men, please, because you aren't.)

"I love James because he..."
1. Is generous.
2. Is helpful to even strangers.
3. Is sweet.
4. Is a good friend.
5. Is loyal.
6. Is a hard-worker.
7. Takes care of his family.
8. Is great to cuddle with.
9. Has a good sense of humor, even if it is just wrong sometimes!
10. Watches out for me.
11. Takes care of and protects me.
12. Is almost the only person I know that isn't trying to be something they're not.
13. Will kill for me.
14. Has nice hair.
15. Has a cute nose.
16. Has the softest, pink lips.
17. Is always warm.
18. Is the only person I can talk to on the phone for multiple hours, having to switch between my cordless and my cell because of the battery dying.
19. Has the cutest little mole on the side of his head!
20. Has the nicest brown eyes I've ever seen.
21. Can be ultra-mushy with me even though I am awkward at expressing it at times.
22. Will do something as gross as crack my toes for me.
23. Will attempt to cook for me, even if it is rarely good.
24. Is kinky - but not much - like me.
25. Will reluctantly watch a horror movie and act like a girl about it so I can enjoy the film.
26. Pushes me to succeed.
27. Relaxes me enough to let loose and be silly and talkative around him.
28. Is comfortable enough with me to have farting contests.
29. Isn't ashamed of who he is.
30. Is the most straightforward person I know.
31. Tells me all of his secrets - some that other people don't know - at least, I know of one in particular.
32. Doesn't forget about me.
33. Trusts me, even though I've given him reason not to.
34. Is thoughtful.
35. Will do the same things I do for him if not more.
36. Has the cutest laugh when he thinks something is really, really funny.
37. Is the main person I trust.
38. Is optimistic for me.
39. Is there when I need him - always.
40. Never complains about how I look.
41. Is bold and assertive.
42. Lets me beat him at Uno sometimes.
43. Will let me play Scrabble with him although he knows I kick his ass severely each time.
44. Can look me straight in the eye.
45. Is one of the few people I can look straight in the eye.
46. Accepts and loves my imperfections as much as my perfections.
47. Is the most street-smart and mature male that I know.
48. Can agree on baby names with me!
49. Is the only guy I have ever been able to imagine marrying.
50. Enjoys talking on the phone with me.
51. Is very giving.
52. Won't hesitate to tell me what he thinks of me - good or bad.
53. Is strong.
54. Is knowledgable.
55. Will watch soap operas with me even if it takes from his manlihood.
56. Will sell and pawn his stuff to come to see me.
57. I will sell my things for just to see him.
58. Will confront me with his problems straightforwardly.
59. Is very oral. Heheh. Heh heh heh heh...
60. Is real - himself.
61. Will wash my clothes for me.
62. Buys me food whenever he gets some for himself.
63. Will let me get away with things that he won't let others get away with.
64. Will let me dye his hair and embarass him just for my enjoyment! ^.^
65. Is devoted.
66. Agrees on a lot of the same issues as me.
67. Will be silly with me.
68. Likes me however I look.
69. Will freeze in the shower behind me when we take them together.
70. Will drive hundreds of miles just to see me for a day.
71. Supports me even more than my mother.
72. Tries to surprise me every now and then to make me smile.
73. Spots idiocy as quickly as I do.
74. Has a soft side that mainly I see.
75. Will go into girly stores with me.
76. Will go panty shopping with me! haha
77. Has slept in cars for me.
78. Understands my insecurities, even if I don't tell him about them.
79. Will go to bed when I do so we can sleep together.
80. Will sit in the bathroom for me while I take showers because I'm scared of them.
81. Will put lotion on me after I take showers.
82. Will cry with me.
83. Will defend me.
84. Encourages me and boosts my self-esteem.
85. Makes me feel special. (When he wants to.)
86. Will kiss me even if my breathe smells like a toilet.
87. Doesn't smoke.
88. Barely drinks.
89. Drug-free!
90. Wants to be a teacher to educate people.
91. Believes that I am able to do anything.
92. Would make a great father.
93. Is independent (for the most part).
94. Learns quickly.
95. Will explain things that I don't understand without making me feel stupid.
96. Loves animals almost as much as I do.
97. Will drive whenever we go places. ^.^
98. Is easy to please.
99. Isn't as whiney as me.
100. Will let me win arguments! haha
And! 101. Speaks his mind.

I think I'm going to get to 200 by the end of the week. *smile* Some of them may seem redundant, but they mean all sorts of different things to me.

Yes, this is a long post. I have a conversation was from yesterday. I never got the chance to post it because Anna scooped me up. Ironically, Anna and I had this same discussion so I thought I'd drop it in with this entry.

RazzberryKissez: do you think it's possible to love someone you've never met?
Lucid Blur: O.o What?
RazzberryKissez: I mean someone you talk to but have never met in person. do you think it's possble to be in love with them?
Lucid Blur: You don't want to know my answer to that. haha.
Lucid Blur: I think in very logical terms when it comes to love sometimes. I've just now begun to slowly overcome that.
RazzberryKissez: mmhmmm.... just tell me, woman.
RazzberryKissez: I need an opinion because my girl is going thru some stuff with a dude
Lucid Blur: lol, okay... seriously.
Lucid Blur: I think you can't fully love someone you haven't been around, because you can't fully grasp who they are. It's more that they are an idea instead of a person.
RazzberryKissez: amen!
Lucid Blur: I've learned that from being with James. Although we talked for hours and hours every single day there were things about him that turned me off that I would've never known about had I never met him in person.
Lucid Blur: This isn't to say that he was being fake toward me, of course.
Lucid Blur: But I didn't know how angry he'd get at other people and how it'd cause him to react. Great turn off.
Lucid Blur: Suppose that cute little mole he has on his head was something that totally turned me off? I wouldn't have known. And that's just something physical.
Lucid Blur: I mean, there is so much stuff that you can't find out about a person if you're not around them. There's only so much you can learn verbally.
RazzberryKissez: I think I know whatyou mean
Lucid Blur: You know? Like even someone's mannerism could change how you feel about them, but you pretty much just can not fully grasp it without actually being around that person.
Lucid Blur: There's so much stuff that you just can't learn and things you don't know right off the bat.
RazzberryKissez: yeah, exactly
Lucid Blur: Those things about James that I didn't know until I met him were things I ended up learning to accept.
Lucid Blur: So to answer your question, yeah, I believe you can "love" someone for the things you do know about them, but a relationship is merely impossible because there's more to a relationship than e-mails and phone conversations.
RazzberryKissez: see, that's what I'm saying
Lucid Blur: Imean, unless you're a kid. I'm not a kid anymore. When I think of relationships, I think of more than just being able to have a conversation and silly butterflies and giggles and love letters and poems.
Lucid Blur: It's easy to love someone you never met.
RazzberryKissez: I'm glad you agree 'cause that's what I've been trying to tell her
Lucid Blur: Mm. I'd leave her alone and let her keep her beliefs. But how old is she?
RazzberryKissez: 17, almost 18 I think.
Lucid Blur: Yeah. lol. That's only three years younger than us but.
Lucid Blur: We've experienced more.
Lucid Blur: What I told you was just my logical outlook, which is what I actually prefer when it comes to that situation.
RazzberryKissez: so without being logical..... ?
Lucid Blur: People feel what they feel.

Kbye! Gotta go to work.

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