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Tried to give you Summer,
But I'm Winter.
Wish I could make you Spring,
But I Fall so hard.

It is I, Tammi.


lucidblur
Age. 39
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Black
Location Petersburg, VA
School.
» More info.
What needs to be done?
- Finish painting
- File FAFSA
- Wash clothes
- Gather yardsale items
- Hang out with Levy
- Relax hair
- Unpack
- Buy Jimmy Eat World album
- Request credit report
- Close FSNB account
- Register for classes
Speak Free!




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Right now, I feel: The current mood of lucidblur@yahoo.com at www.imood.com
Inside my Mind

Extra Links
Lyrics of the Moment
In my fantasy I'm a pantomime
I'll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean
Words are too messy
And it's way past time
To end in my mouth

Paint my face white and tried
Reinvent the sea
One wave at a time
Speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight

I ain't afraid to let it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy no such thing as time
Minutes bleed into days
Avant garde
Show me your heresies
And I'll show you mine
We only speak in pantomimes on this carpet ride

I ain't afraid to let it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy you look good entwined
In my hair and skin and spit and sweat and spilled red wine
You're my deep secret
I'm your pantomime
I'll just move my hands
I promise you'll see what I mean


Incubus : Pantomime
Shows!
Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Virginia Beach, VA
August 2001

Hoobastank, Incubus
Norfolk, VA
September 2001

Phantom Planet, Incubus
Richmond, VA
June 2002

30 Seconds to Mars, Incubus
Virginia Beach, VA
September 2002

Jepetto, Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Richmond, VA
March 2003

Lollapalooza: The Distillers, The Donnas, Queens of the Stone Age, Jurassic 5, Incubus, Audioslave, Jane's Addiction
Bristow, VA
August 2003

Mest, Goldfinger, Good Charlotte
Richmond, VA
October 2003

Alien Ant Farm, 311
Richmond, VA
November 2003

Y101 Birthday Bash: Steriogram, Marcy Playground, HIM, Puddle of Mudd
Richmond, VA
May 2004

Spooky Daly Pride, Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Richmond, VA
June 2004

Ben Kweiler, Incubus
Richmond, VA
October 2004

Copper, Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Richmond, VA
January 2005

Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Virginia Beach, VA
August 2005

Switchfoot
Norfolk, VA
November 2005
Not Like I Would've Expected.
Wednesday. 8.24.05 9:12 pm
So this will be the last entry for about a week, until I get back from Virginia. I'm actually very anxious about coming home. I think I'm just starting to think about it. I mean, before, I was happy about it. I just didn't think much about it.

I guess what's bothering me is that it's one of those things that will turn out in a way I didn't expect. Five months ago, when I moved here, I thought my return would be a lot different than what it will be when I do get there because of how things have changed. I don't really want to get into the obvious reasons, but...

God, it sucks. Not because of the way things are now, but because of how happy I was right before I left compared to right now. I mean, I've definitely learned a lot by moving here and learned a hell of a lot about James, but sometimes I wish I could just rewind this shit back to me being at Richard Bland.

Dreams of it have been haunting me for the past week, God damn it. I wish I'd stop having them. I really do. Because it's stupid and it's just hurting me when I wake up.

I called for Mom earlier at the house, but Grandma picked up. She sounded disappointed that I was only staying four days because she thought I was staying about two weeks. Ouch. It really made me sad. Mom told me that they went grocery shopping for me, too. v.v When I get there, I'm going to call my job to see if someone can fill in for me on Wednesday so I don't have to leave until Thursday instead of Tuesday.

*sigh* I think almost my whole stay is planned out. Thursday I'm spending with my family. Friday, I'm spending with Anna and DeWayne. Saturday, me and Mom are going to the Jimmie's Chicken Shack concert. Sunday, I want to see Peggy and present her my idea. Monday is actually open, I believe. I do know I want to see around Petersburg and Colonial Heights to see how it has changed. As far as I know now, I have to leave on Tuesday morning. Ugh. I want to change this. The only reason I didn't ask for more time off is because of James.

GRR. He infuriates me.

Greatly.

God, it's hard pretending he's not an asshole.
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