Today was a beautiful day. As far as Mondays go, this was probably one of the best.

It was the first day back from winter break, and there wasn't any stress or aggravation, even though everyone is flipping out about finals being next week and the workload is one of epic proportions. I was chipper the entire time seeing Ishang, Janelie, Rachel, Navi, Sze, and even Lin ("where the hell has he been?") again after so long. This is probably the best first day back ever. I hope will set an auspicious pattern for the rest of the year.

What made this day great was just talking and spending time with everyone and catching up on how everyone had been doing. I love talking to these people. They're flipping great. It's so weird how simple the cause of my happiness was--that rarely happens. I don't know the last time I experienced such joy in being in the company of others.

Another reason why today was so great: I absolutely nailed my Oral Interpretation speech that I'd been writing and rehearsing with great care last night til two in the morning. The most applause I've ever received, I think. Hot damn.

* * *

And then...I saw ____.

Janelie and I were walking to sixth, and I was just telling her how euphoric I was. ____ and I walked right past each other, for a split second the closest we'd ever been because of the narrowness of the hallway. I saw him coming. But his presence didn't interrupt my mood at all. Janelie and I kept moving, and I was still happy.

I was still flying.

* * *

When I remember him now, I think of him warmly. Nothing hurts, nothing's cracked or bruised or broken anymore. I'm actually happy for him. I'm happy to catch glimpses of him from a distance, talking and laughing and smiling. I no longer think, 'he used to smile that way for me', because he didn't. And that's okay. I missed you. I cared for you. I loved you. Everything's in past tense now. Passed tense.

I wish him happy birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and good luck with the rest of his life and I hope everything works out for him.

I thank him for opening my eyes to how stupid kids can be, myself and him included. I thank him for being not the standard, but the benchmark to be forgotten with the other guys to come. For being the exhibits in the lessons learned from the craziest, happiest, and most confusing time of my life so far.

I say and think all these things silently as I pass him by and move on, the only outward sign of my thoughts being the genuine smile on my face as I remember all the good things that came out of mutual foolishness. It actually takes effort now to remember the unpleasant events as well. And I recall the lessons from those as well, so they aren't so unpleasant.

Bye and good luck, Gabe.

* * *

This is the New Year. Full of opportunity and potential waiting to be discovered.

I love it already.

(o_0)
You know, Monday is the worst time of day to spend 1/7 of your life. ^_^ ..... Unlike you, I hate midterms and I hate comming back to school. Our workload has increased like hell. You must be really optimistic (o_0)
» eXiled on 2004-01-07 12:07:24

ha. i see what you're saying, but i usually HATE mondays...it was just that i was having a good day then, and it affected everything else. as for midterms, i'm not a fan at all. i'm really stressed right now, actually. o_0
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