My cousin Dreamer is the worst correspondent ever. She is terrible at replying to emails, and on the rare occasions when we are both on AIM at the same time, she's not at all the humorous conversationalist she is offline. I'd given up on emailing her a while back, not being content with two-sentence replies to my reasonably sized letters. It became kind of a regular convention between us to communicate only when we saw each other during the summer.

So I've been considerably out of the loop concerning the happenings in her life and on the East Coast in general...always being the last to learn the news, and not even the whole story at that. I guess much of it is my fault, too--I've grown used to playing catch-up over summmer vacation, and haven't put in the effort I should be into encouraging our friendship. It's because the fact that we will always be friends has been a given, a simple basic truth that's been there since we were born.

Last October, it was a pleasant surprise to find out that she'd had a boy come over and meet her parents. Us West Coast relatives got the news as them only liking each other in a strictly platonic way, but it's easy enough to read between the lines--they're a couple. Behind her mom's back, Dreamer has a boyfriend...

I called her earlier today, and we talked for a long time. I received all the details. They'd been together two months longer than anyone knew. And as far as her parents know, they're barely holding hands. The truth is, they're moving at breakneck speed. I know I'm the last person who should be in a position to talk about this. But maybe not. Now I know what it's like on the outside looking in, and hearing about her experiences in minute detail, I have to say that she only thinks she knows what she's doing. That's harsh. That's hypocritical. But it's true. She is making it way, way too easy for the guy. She's willing to believe in the things he promises. I personally don't know him. I'll be the first to admit that when I was in her situation, I made it easy for ____ when we were together. It bothers me that they're going way too fast, and also that I can't be critical about this at all. I'm disturbed that she's keeping things from everyone--I can understand why she's not telling her parents, because they're the definition of conservative, but she avoided saying anything to me and our mutual friend in Long Island. I wanted to blame it on her crappy corresponding skills, but she refused to tell our friend her new screenname. Flat out refused.

I realize that all of this is her prerogative. It's her deal if she wants to be secretive. It's her problem when the shit hits it and her mom finds out that A) they've been discreetly dating for the past three months and B) they've hit third base. And when it does happen, the only thing I can do is listen and be there, because I can't help at all. I'm worried about her. That's pretty fucked up--she's not even worried about it, and she's the one in the relationship.

...I guess we all have to learn what it's like to be hurt sometime. *sigh*

I love you, Dreamer.

I consider, that you are mistaken.
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