mood: fresh and revived
listening to: Switchfoot - This is Your Life


Yesterday was an strange day for me. I thought about a great many things, thing that I hadn't thought about before. Let me explain.

What if all we know is wrong? Who is to say what is right and wrong? Some might say that the government has that ability, but really who gave them that power? What if one day, far from now, we(as a population) realize that we are a bunch of dillusional, naive people, like someone figuring out 5 + 3 doesn't equal 8. Think about how many things would be affected by that! What if we aren't alone? What if there are infact other beings out there. There is a distinct possibility that they will be far more advanced intellecually than we are, and that would piss us off, becuase humans love to feel superior. If anyone ever feels inferior, they hold a grudge on the superior because of envy. So would we go to war with these other beings, just to feel better about our intelligence? What if there really isn't a God, or gods. What if it is just another dillusion someone constructed to make the thought of dying a bit easier. What if there are people, that are less fortunate, that use 10% + of their brain, but we don't know it because they live in some remote area of the jungle or something? They might have the cure for cancer, or the cure for AIDS and nobody will never know?

Those are pretty much the thoughts that I thought most of yesterday. Another good thing I did yesterday was quit my life. Well my old life that is. I was sick of it. It wasn't doing me or anyone else any good. Thanks to a good friend, whom just reunited her friendship with me, I realized that if I don't like the way something in my life is, I am the only one who can change it. Hence quitting my life. I weighed the good and then the bad, and realized that there was so much that I needed to change, I just up an quit it all. I can't change the way people think of me, but I can change the way I act, the way I handle situations, the way I see myself, and if I succeed, I will have found happiness. True happiness. Take for instance my constant battle with my weight. I have been constantly struggling with trying to obtain the "perfect" figure for me, for about 3 years now. It hasn't gone as far as eating disorders, or medication, so don't think that. All I would do is complain about not being the way I wanted to be, then a month ago, I decided I was going to start running, because not only is that a good way to burn off calories, it is healthy for you. So I can become less pudgy and more healthy all at the same time. It hurts while I am running, but I feel so much better knowing that I am helping my body out. I have also recruited my friend, Jay, to aid in my goal. He is writing up an exercise plan that will get me the toned body that I want, and a diet to coincide with that exercise plan. It will take determination and perserverance, but if I want it badly enough, I will succeed. I want it badly enough. Then there is my battle with always feeling inferior to those in my classes that are smarter than me. I am the only one that can push myself farther, study harder, and make an effort. You all get the point.

I missed my best friend's birthday party yesterday to think and make ammends with people in my life. I hope B understands.


I am going to leave you with a quote that I want you to think about. This is from the song "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot....

This is your life, are you who you want to be??

I'm here for you!
» Molls on 2004-09-19 09:26:01

thanks molls!
» kshaffer on 2004-09-19 09:47:07

That was too deep for my brain to process at the moment, but I get what you're saying.
» Reizar on 2004-09-29 01:34:41

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