I thought I'd gotten over it.

Then just a day or two ago I received a stark reminder of how vulnerable my friendships are. So what if all your supposed friends go out without as much as dropping you a notice? And then just leave you waiting like a dumb fuck for hours on end?

I'm tired of trying to initiate stuff. Maybe once a week's too much. And that everyone else probably have a more colorful and eventful life than me. How wonderful.

Probably its a curse then.
That I am somehow unable to maintain friendships beyond a certain amount of time. Its (almost) always been the case so far.

And the nightmares come every night relentlessly. Along with the regrets that almost inevitably tags along for a ride.

How colorful and eventful is that? Very, it seems. Resplendent in its full array of hues and tones when I shut my eyes.

When will we ever be friends again like before?

i know exactly how you feel
Whenever I come home from college, i expect all of my friends and I to be close like we used to be, before we all went out separate ways. Now, I try to plan something, and either we all go and its awkward, or only three of us go, and all we talk about is how close our whole group used to be.

I think it's part of growing up :/. It just happens when people change.
» dannixfresh on 2011-04-14 07:13:57

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