As I left the hustle and bustle behind, I know for certain one thing - it is not my time anymore. It has been so long, and it feels alien just to be there. I smiled when I see the kids indulge in their youthfulness and adolescence. The unbridled joy - the full range of emotions on show just kept reminding me of the past that could have been. It made me yearn to be one of them again, unburdened by whatever trivial things; being able to enjoy life as it presents itself, one day at a time, with friends that will last.

I was a fool. The price I had to pay was to forfeit all friendships that could have been. I thought I was indispensable. Ha. What a fallacy that was. Stubborn fool indeed.

The reality really hit home when I saw him along the level 2 walkway earlier in the evening. We said hi - and proceeded to search each others' face for something to talk about. There was none. And we just parted ways. A tinge of regret hit me instantly. That's just a microcosm of how far things have deteriorated.

Sarah told me that she had left her past behind her. I should too. Yet there is still a part of me that fears the same old story will happen once again when we graduate.

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