The other girl had been hitting on him all night. This naturally irked me, but I was not exactly sure if he liked me anyway, and that irksome feeling started to ebb away into doubt as the night progressed. When it was finally time to go home, I left in a more than sour mood. I was walking away, on the brink of tears, when out he comes. He did not say a word except to throw his arms around me and hold me as tight as he could and for that moment, I felt like I wasn't slipping away, and I was so happy. I miss being that happy. I miss that part of REALLY being in love. And maybe that's why I'm waiting, because I know what it feels like and it feels passionate and real, just like all the stories say.

That said, that guy, the one in the story. He's getting married now, to some other girl and I can't really say that I am unhappy for him or jealous of her. I am jealous of him, that's for sure, but not onto the point of wishing that he did not have what he had. Any logical undressing of the situation makes it patently clear that I made decisions and I am not entirely unhappy with them. That said, reality has a crappy way of giving you a left hook to the face and telling you to suck it up. And... I miss being in love.

Amen
» Midnight on 2013-03-11 12:16:56

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