I questioned myself about my existence

I left my hp at home while i was rushing to work.Im just out of the lift when i realized that.in the past the typical procedure would be : "fuckkk" , an extremely unglam rush to my house, " OIE!!! help me get my hp!", " wha lau its there la!"
I walked on to the busstop today.got home at night to be greeted by the same default nokia wallpaper i had this afternoon.no messages.no missed calls.
its not the first time anyway.

i know im sounding like a loser,yes i admit i am,im over that image-crazed phase anyway,yep im unpopular,im a wallpaper,im the side kick,i have my dinner at home almost everyday, i wear past-seasons clothes,i work to spend my days,i get yelled around by my sisters, i get slot in for the day during pre-dates,im someone to talk to when you're lonely and someone who you'll share ur happiness with when you're attached, but im not someone who you will ask how are you? Im someone you'll find when ur bf is not in town,im someone you'll call on friday nite because according to you friday nite is Girls Nite! and not because you need a break from ur bf, not because you need to have fun urself, Girls Night is just an enchancement.Everyone is just using everyone, knowingly and unknowingly.

I know im selfish to say this in case theres someone who really cares, i believe there is just i cant feel you now.haha i don't need encouragin and feel good testimonials from people(they think they've done their part just by clicking the send button),i don't need overnight friends and certainely dun need pissed off friends who feel offended after reading this.The last thing i want is to make my friends feel bad at reading this although it might already made its impact by now.
anyway its not anyones fault im feeling this way cuz by the end of the day no one is responsible for me but myself.

Im not taking people for granted,gosh im not seeking attention or making myself seems like im havin a miserable plight when i have love all over from ppl or even just from a single person.im not,i can swear with my ermm..C cup lol.if i did, to anyone who's reading this please let urself known and save my boobs?

Im so tired with everything,the only reason thats stopping me from a complete breakdown at my side is my parents.I cant let them down.For everything else i've got citibank.HAHAHAHAHAHA someone please help me!HAHA!



::How long would i go unoticed this time::

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» Benito (200.48.170.215) on 2010-09-04 01:53:22

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