VisionUvSilence: Poem 1- I just love this poem, it has a weird shift from the beginning to end but i love that too, i may not be right but to me it says this girl was happy and sweet but then every rose has its thorns so to speak and then it talks about the fall, the calling out is so great it really does call out to the reader, its sorta intruguing whenever it says her lips did not move and her figure never blinked and then it calls to you again, then after that it says it was the sound of light and it makes you think maybe another shift, a happier one but it isnt its only worse and worse, and then you tell her thoughts by ending it with "she was grieving." not a ... but a single . makes it stand out even more, i love the poem, well onto the next one
VisionUvSilence: Poem 2 - this seems to be an angry poem but a sense of release at the same tyme, you show the materialistic love always being there for you since the humane love does not. i like this poem and with the caps it stands out of course so good job and im glad you didnt overdue the caps cuz if you do too many they'l be annoying but you didnt so *thumbs up* and i like how you talked to the reader...well that one certain person who should read it. but all and all its good :-)
VisionUvSilence: Poem 3 - i like the opposite thing, suicide notes lingering in the face of grace it stands out when it sounds cheery but is really talking about death, then to talk about scars that you left entrances the reader making them curious as to what or why this is happening, and then the consonance on the fourth line, i love it and then following it up with a personification of death catching it and then i get confused on the last line but i guess id have to know the whole meaning and background but its a good poem indeed :-)
VisionUvSilence: Poem 4 - falling is painful but rising up from the pain is just as painful if not more so i hope you're alright, what room is it that you speak of, your room? the room you were writing in? a room of darkness where light does not exist? a room where light is evil so you hide within the dark until someone throws open the blinds and has the light blind us all?, well it seems like its going to be a horrible mood, really depressed like the world shouldnt see you because you arent worth seeing the world, and then you are unveiled and apparently it was nice and happy and relieving and healing but then the uncomfortable chair comes in where you can see the downfall and sadness that is yet to come, then the talk of past, that is never good and the drinking of "your" black honey, its probably someone that meant something to you and black
VisionUvSilence: and black that represents the sadness, darkness, despair, but you put it with honey, which is sweet and nice, so its a saddening sweetness, the the rich and hurtful, smooth and comforting, makes you imagine someone drinking it and its like rich chocolate and for the moment it tastes so good but it comes back to get you but you still feel relieved and then i feel like im reading something out of my own life with the rest of it and i feel like someone understands me so thank you for writing this poem and i hope you feel better because i know that it mustve hurt before writing this *hugs you*
VisionUvSilence: the first line makes me think, her beauty is painted on meaning that it was just a cover and then it says that people place their opinions on her and i feel sad for the girl because peoples opinions are never good, either people are too nice and dont tell you the truth or the truth isnt what you want to hear so it is true when you say "killing her...." and then it seems like the beauty begins to seep out and fade away but every day she puts the cover back on and a new hope
VisionUvSilence: Sarah you are an awesome writer and if you were a magazine i would subscribe so fast but enough about that i wanted to say that i love reading your writings and i love the fact that we read each others cuz i dont find too many people that are ever in the mood to read what i write but you always seem to listen, even seem to want to read it and it makes me feel special and believe this, i love reading what you write and want to read it all :-) but make sure to keep writing because if you're not talking to me you can get a sense of relief from writing so keep up the awesome works
VisionUvSilence: awh it didnt save the last part :-(
VisionUvSilence: well after that i put something along the lines of, I bet one day we're gonna become modern day bards and we'll be prancing around onstage just reading our poems to the world and audiance and we'll be like two of a kind and one great team

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» Dante (217.196.164.35) on 2010-09-05 05:13:44

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