mood: lame
listening to: Korn - "Y'all Want a Single"
watching: the screen ...
I'm going to commit emotional suicide.
I feel inspired to express myself even further after reading someone else's entry...but I can't at the moment. All I can do is copy and past and entry I wrote yesterday in Xanga. I'll rant later, after I get some extra strenght Tylenol in my joints.
For some reason, I've been lacking in the patience area lately. First, it was Six Flags. There were so many people. Some didn't have a clue where they were going. They had these zombied-out looks on their faces. You could tell their kids were dragging them around. Lol. I had so many people run to get in front of me, slow down, then suddenly stop and randomly try to figure out their exact position in the park. Human nature is funny at times. I would have found this funny on any other day, or month for that matter. Fucked up and pissy
I'm a Christian. I believe in healthy self-sacrifice, and the knowledge for when its not. If your're going to preach the word of God, and how coming to know Jesus has saved your life, then please, atleast make a little bit of an effort, for your own benefit, to show this love to others. A selfish Christian? I don't believe that you can be one without committing a sin by it. The Bible says not to be selfish. Stop being selfish! Stop going on and on about how "Sean" might like you, or how you feel fat and need to lose ten pounds when you already weigh 90. The person I've known in Mckinney as my "best friend" for the past *counts* eh almost 5 years is now becoming all too real to me. My mom's always tried to point out how she was just telling people things about her to get attention. She's always wanted to be popular, and have everyone notice her and know of her everyday and everywhere she goes and bah. "I tried to call you Sunday night! I got into a fight with someone at youth group about cutting. She called me immature and said that I needed help! I don't understand it! Ugh I'm so mad!".....Everyone knows she used to cut. Everyone knows she went annorexic in the 7th and 9th grade. The only way that these people knew was that she told them. She plays dramatic, people ask her whats wrong, she says she can't say and won't tell, people "badger" it out of her, and she cries not understanding how they figured it out and how she shouldn't have told them and how's she doomed DOOMED DOOMED DOOMED!!! She's not even doomed. She just plays it off that way to people. Yea, people have different amounts of what they can handle, but fuck, I know she can handle alot more ... atleast I thought she could .... Sure, her life used to be hell, but fuck, its not now. She lives a really small life. All she has going on right now is the fact that her dad has high expectations of her. She lets it "ruin" her life. Fuck, if thats the worst thing she's got going on, then she needs to go live in a 3rd world country. I probably sound like a hypocrite (hence the name dysfunctional_hypocrite), but atleast I've got a realistic view of how much worse off I could be, and FUCK, I don't complain for attention, I complain because I can't be expected to keep everything inside. It sounds wrong to call it complaining...but I guess its the right word. Lol. I don't know how I got into this, I just can't take having my only friend here be someone that's narcisisstic and a hypocrite to her own faith that she preaches over constantly and judges what other people are doing wrong, without looking at her own actions. No, really, how did I get into this ... MoViNg On WOOO!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
I was parking in the Kohls parking lot yesterday, and guess what happened? No, really, guess. Time's up.
There was this McDonalds bag on the edge of the space I was going into. I figured it was empty and that it wouldn't do any harm anyway if it wasn't. I drove over it, the truck completely bounced, and I eneded up being propelled (veryyyyy sloooooowwwwllllyyyyy) into the side of the van in the parking space beside me. This woman was standing there gasping, with her hand over her mouth. My first thought? Oh fuck, this van belongs to that woman, who looks like shes on the verge of oxygen deprivation. Turns out it wasn't her van. It was kind of weird how the whole van jolted really badly when I "hit" it. I got out, and holy moly, there wasn't any damage to the van. All I saw was a piece of plastic on its fender. I plucked it off, and guess where it came from? The cheap plastic stuff on MY front bumper! Isn't a truck supposed to DO more damage and not HAVE damage? Baffling, I must say. Although...the van was a lot less hurt than the SUV I ran into at the hospital ... I pulled the whole bumper on it down. There wasn't anyone around, and I didn't have anything to write with, so I kind of put the damn truck in DRIVE and pulled the hell away from there. I parked on the other side of the hospital. I DO feel really bad about that...it was just my first injury to another person's car ever...and I kinda freaked.......
*MUCH LOVE*
OH MY GOD
I have a friend just like that. god, I hate her... she's so attention-derived.
Right now she's being 'depressed' [I use the word lightly] because she can't go to some trip to Florida with her ROTC thing. IT'S STUPID. she needs to GET OVER IT!!
great now I'm pissed again..
oh well..
thanks for commenting, though. =)
» invisible on 2004-03-30 05:37:15
one more thing
STOP THE MOTHERFUCKING DOWNLOAD!! it's annoying.. every time you go anywhere on your blog thing, it downloads not one, but TWO songs!! STOP IT, I SAY.
....please?...
» invisible on 2004-03-30 05:40:55
the download thing
the file that kekeps downloading [twice!!] is called 11_Motherfucker.wma
that.
well, ttyl
» invisible on 2004-03-31 12:13:12
i kno a gurl that does that. but she doesn't do it to get attention. i kno alotta ppl do but someppl don't do it for that reason. i hope things get better
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