how else am i supposed to feel? my parents are telling me that i've changed so much like i've gotten meaner or somewhat.. but how am i supposed to feel after everything that i've been through and my life is so hard cause of them. everything that i'm going through its gotta have to lead back to them. its not easy for me to be nice anymore cause i feel like when i give and give and give my best to everyone just to make them happy and myself but i just get hurt in the end, so i cant be nice anymore i need to be aggressive with how i feel. pain is just what i dont want to go through and they're saying that oh yeah if i be nice even if that person isnt acting how i want them to be IT PAYS OFF... my ass it pays off it just makes me feel more like shit. and the way that im staring at my dad, like im pissed off how the fuck am i supposed to feel when someones telling me oh this and that how im SUPPOSED TO BE.. the PERFECT person once again NO, im being the person that i can be the person that i've been molded out of every little scenario that i've been through and i just cant be that easy person anymore where i trust everyone where they're going to make me happy cause i know now that everyone in my life at this moment cant fulfill my needs i know people can little by little just not the way everything used to be.and my mom's saying that im bastos and shit so be it maybe i am. she doesnt know what i've been through how much pain and suffering im going through. they just cause MORE pain. they ask me whats wrong yeah like i want to tell them, they'll just make it worse.. i guess i've changed then, maybe i cant go back cause im afraid of what will happen to me. thats why i cant open up my heart to everyone. and im glad everyones telling me oh yeah you should try this and that thanks for your opinions but maybe i dont want to. i wanna do what i wanna do, what i feel is right. maybe what i wanna do is wrong but oh well so be it, thats me, remember i've CHANGED now. nothing comes easy in life, i say everythings bullshit except for somethings. so someone please HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL? cause i feel damn right in the position i am right now. peace

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