i've been stone cold sober for 6 days. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i miss my drugs. lydias bringing me a pipe tomorrow. im sooo stoked. i want to smoke with kevin and austin. maybe satruday a la shoe game. austin and i havent done anythng for a while. i think we're over. we'll probbaly screw around if we're lonely or bored or something. but i dont know. i think im starting to like ryan again. good bad? i dont know. but hes suppppper flirtacious. liana and lorraine say hes totally crushing, which i didnt really notice because i was so into austin. but now im noticing it more. its good, i'm getting over austin... but ryans leaving pretty soon now, i think. i just dont know what to do. i need to smoke. reeeeeal bad. oh my gosh. im getting so damn dependent on these damn drugs. thats means im getting addicted. shit.

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