I wonder if this is what awaits those poor unexpecting students who I may be substituting.


I've been wondering, though,

What is "Greatness"?

After a long battle uphill through a darkened forest full of dulldrums and sprites, I've come to alot of realizations.
We are moving in after all.
It ISN'T wrong to move in together.
However, what DOES make it wrong is what my intentions could be.
Is it to glorify and praise Him or to merely shame myself?
Because I've come to see that I had all the right steps but the wrong philosophy all along.
I am no more wrong than Pastor Lo, who got kicked out of church for having a different way of praising God.
Sometimes there is no clear right and wrong in situations.
And whenever God DOES want you in a different spot, He will open up at least ONE door in an effort to motivate you out of your situation.

But I'm still left with one nagging question,
What is "greatness"?

I know I don't want it. Not now. I have my mother to take care of and I can't think of my own "greatness" until I know that my responsibilities are well taken care of. That may be a long way off.
But then I thought, isn't my way of sacrificing myself, my "greatness", for my mother's well-being considered greatness???
But then again, I don't want to consider myself "great". I am no greater than anyone else, and quite often less great.
However, I do think the road to TRUE greatness and TRUE love is through self-sacrifice,
which in my opinion, is EXACTLY what the youth group is missing; Self-sacrifice.

It took me a bit, but I've come to realize that everyone is all talk, all fun, all rights and wrongs, and lessons, and God-talk, but everyone is missing very such an important part, such a key element; a step forward. Where's the leg-work?
How come when I would ask "what to do" no one would give me an answer other than my OWN sacrifices?
How come no one made their own sacrifices to help me out?
How come when there was every any problem or situation with any of the kids, the quickest answer I would receive was that THAT person needed to change?
How come we didn't reach out and help these people who are in OBVIOUS desperate help?

How Christian is THAT?

Well, I'll tell you what. I'll keep living my whorish life in our "devil's playground", while the rest of you keep doing talking but never sharing the Love, the God, we're supposed to.

So, tell me what greatness is now?

Snape has become an expletive of sorts for me. "Oh, snap!" has turned into "Oh, Snape!"
I think that's one of the things about [modern?] Christianity today.
Many churches just do enough to feel like "church" so you can go back to work the rest of the week not feeling too bad about yourself because you went to church this week.

It's hard to get people to get out of their comfort zones. Saying, doing and encouraging things that make people feel uncomfortable doesn't attract crowds - and often that's what many churches seem to be going for: larger congregation equals more money coming in for "the cause", which sometimes looks like a yacht or whatnot.

I'm hungry to DO something. Now I just need to figure out what that is and do it.
» invisible on 2008-10-18 01:23:29

i'm not sure if greatness is somethin one can measure or the definition written down in the dictionary can interpret or picture the real meanin of greatness. what u've mentioned made sense, sacrificing ur own greatness for ur mom's well being, that i'd call greatness.

perhaps some ppl dont really see wht's goin on around them, mayb they are jst too blinded by their own needs and wants and they obviously put themselves first above everythin else.
» AlexisNg on 2008-10-19 04:23:12

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