bananaface's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

so, i would consider this thing that i have with henry my first highschool relationship, right? my first real highschool relationship. we go on dates,we hang out, we make out...

its not a hookup, and its not something that belongs back in elementary school.

but its not right.

somethings wrong here.

we got in a fight last night. it was stupid, but not really.

he has this way of bringing up sex, all the time.

and i dont wanna talk about sex. i mean, geez, thats what your guy friends are for, not your girlfriend. so he asked me how come i always acted different when he said stuff like that.

i guess im more prude than i like to act, i told him.

well, he said, what can you do. we both want different things out of this relationship.

do what? i didnt get it. what was he telling me?

he was telling me that 'i want something more physical, and you... i dont know what you want.'

um, well, sorry henry, i guess i thought you liked me for more than just my physical attributes.

thats not what he meant, he said. but i didnt know what he meant.

he told me he didnt want to talk about it anymore. i said fine. 30 minutes later i asked if he was mad at me.

he said he wasnt.

he was lying. im positive he was lying. he hasnt been acting like a boyfriend. he hasnt even been acting like himself.

meanwhile, ive been talking to kris. something that puts a real smile on my face, though i cant tell if its because i like him, or because i love his friendship. i dont think it really matters. he makes me smile, and he knows me a million times better than henry does. if kris and i get in a fight, i can talk to him about it, i can work it out. but if henry and i get into a fight, i dont know what to say. hes so...

distant. he doesnt tell me whats going on, and it seems almost like its not worth figuring out anyway, because itll just start another fight.

thats all i do with henry. make out or fight. whats the point?

the point is, i like him. i really do. i just... i dont know if i like dating him.