i think i have mono.

the subtle version, that makes you just tired and depressed.



bleck.




henrys confusing me. its hard to actually have a real conversation with him lately, all he wants to talk about is making out.




id rather make out when im making out, and talk about life ect when im talking. because i mean, im all for the physical part of a relationship.

but i like the relationship part alot too. the whole i can talk to you about anything in the world and we can laugh about everything.



yes, i know, im only in highschool, and only a freshman, and shouldnt be setting so much on this.


its just that...

idk.



i could talk to kris so easily.




and i used to be able to talk to henry really easily. now its just...


we dont have anything to talk about. we exhausted our topics of conversation. and i dont know how.


kris and i could talk for ever. for a year and a half.

we played the question game. he talked back. we talked about our friends and our lives and what upset us and what made us happy.





and i dont see why thats not happening with henry. it could happen with henry.


its just not.




and im not sure if its my fault... if maybe im not putting in enough effort or something? if maybe im not talking because somewhere inside of me im comparing everything he says or does to kris, and ive just decided that hes not as good or something.



but it cant be that, not exactly.


im not sure what it is. but i know i can have a relationship where i talk.



i mean. jon. justin. those were relationships where we would stay on the phone til 530 in the morning.



henry hasnt called me once.




thats always what it comes down to for me. i like it when guys call me. because after the first few awkward moments, usually the conversations are really fun.




but he hasnt called me.



but.



im not sure what im saying now.



im tired.

Glad I've never had mono.

I'm not sure if I can talk to Dave about ANYTHING. I mean, I know I can, but personally, I'm really reserved, even around people I trust.

When it first starts, it seems that there's always something to talk about... then it dies down a bit... :/

» ikimashokie on 2007-05-01 12:08:54

well i hope it works out with you and henry.
» catatonicloki on 2007-05-01 12:20:06

My friends little sister had the mono with the rash and I can remember her chasing me around saying she was gonna kiss me. I was a bit of a germaphobe back then. That was years ago. My theory on talking in relationships is when ya get old thats all your going to have so it should be fabulous. But your in high school. Which is also about making out alot bc you probably wont marry him. Anyhow thats just my thoughts on it.
» lyndeep on 2007-05-01 12:46:01

hahaha. Yeah, why on earth would you want to *talk* about making out? Making out is definitely for just doing, not talking about.
You guys should just start doing some date-like activities where you are in public so you aren't making out, but you're doing something, so you have to talk about something while you're doing it... like... miniature golfing, or eating dinner, or something. Then you can see whether or not he is interesting to talk to, and you can dig and dig into his personality and maybe the more you dig the more there will be to uncover... or... perhaps you will find that he is only as deep as a sandbox and you may have already hit the bottom of it.
» Zanzibar on 2007-05-05 02:34:37

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