1. Go to jewelry dept. and start stroking the rings, calling them the preccciousssss, while hissing at the salesgirl.

2. Take out all the Lord of the Rings action figures, stage the Helm's Deep
battle as it was supposed to be fought in the middle of the toy aisle, much
to the amusement of the Dept. Manager.

3. Go to hunting section, target practice with hunting bows while pretending
you're Legolas. Slide down shelves while shooting arrows at random things.

4. Go to bakery section of Wal Mart, ask if they have any lembas. When they
say they do not, inform them about the great aspects of Elvish Waybread.

5. Head to the drink section. Look put out when they do not have Ent Draught.

6. Head to the food section while yelling you've missed second breakfast.

7. Ask a salesperson if they know a "shortcut to mushrooms".

8. Go up to a random customer and ask her if she is frightened, then tell
her "not nearly enough; I know what hunts you." Wait for her reaction.

9. Put on black sheet. Walk around in store hissing "Shiiirrreeee. Baggginnnssss."

10. Tell the person in the bakery section, "You stupid fat hobbit! I wanted
it raw and wriggling! You ruined it!"

11. Go to random person and say "Toss me! But don't tell the elf!" Wait for
reaction.

12. Fall on floor in the middle of an aisle, let eyes roll back in your head
while muttering "THEY'RE HERE!"

13. Get on bicycle with a friend, race down an aisle shouting "Let this be
the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath. Now
for ruin. And the red dawn!!"

14. Block a narrow aisle. When someone tries to walk by, stand firm and say
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

15. Go to bathrooms when someone comes out. Say, "What is that horrid stink?! I warrant there's a nasty bog nearby. Can you smell it?" in a very
loud voice.

16. Go to a random guy a with friend. Sniff him. When friends asks what do
you smell, tell them "man flesh."

17. Go up to cute guy, tell him, "I made a promise, don't you leave him, and
I DON'T mean to!" and wait for reaction from his girlfriend.

18. Go to the book section. Ask for map to Mordor and also if sales person
has seen gangely creature sulking anywhere nearby.

19. Go up to a group of OLD women and say "You would find more cheer in a
graveyard."

20. Get grey cloak. Wrap self in said cloak. Sit in middle of the aisle and
hiss at people as they pass. Pretend they can't see you.

21. Climb to top of a shelf. When salesman tries to get you down, tell him
"You did not take Theoden, you will not take me."

22. Wander around aimlessly until salesperson asks if they can help you.
Tell them, "Leave me alone, you snake!" If salesperson says anything else,
glare at him/her and say, "Your words are poison!" Walk away quickly.

23. Poise guns at salesman in hunting goods. Look to friends who have guns,
"Shall I tell them to shoot now or is there something you would like to tell
me?" Then tell him, "They wait for my command."

24. Attempt to move a huge box from the top of a shelf. When someone asks if
you need help, furiously tell them, "It's my task, mine, my own!"

25. Cut lights off in store, get on intercom and say, "one ring to rule
them, all one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the
DARKNESS bind them!"

26. In the middle of an aisle, have a conversation with yourself. Include
hand gestures.
"Yesss, the precious first! They will cheat you, hurt you, lie!" "Master's my friend!"
"You don't have any friends, nobody likes you!" Continue as if everything is normal.

27. Run through a wet aisle, fall on your ass. Get up, looking at everybody,
and say "Alright, nobody panic. That was deliberate, it was deliberate."

28. Ride the electronic kiddie pony outside while yelling, "NORO LIM ASFALOTH!!!!"

29. Walk by random carts. If you spot vegetables in someone's cart, glare at
the person accusingly and say, "You've been into Farmer Maggot's crops again, haven't you?!"

30. Find a bickering married couple. Walk up to the woman and tell her to
"Take the ring and cast it back into the fiery chasm from whence it came!"

31. Go to the fish section, grab a fish and start smacking it on the floor
while singing:
"Rock and pool,
Is nice and cool,
So juicy sweeeet.
I only wish,
To catch a fish,
So juicy sweeeeet!"

32. Go to a random salesperson or customer. Engage a conversation using
nothing but Sindarin or Quenya. Pretend you're furious with the person.

33. Lay a manniquen on floor, lean over it. Say, "Goodbye my brother, my
captain, my king."

34. Go to the beauty department, find a woman looking in a mirror. Stare at
her. Tell her, "You look terrible." After a few moments, say, "There is no
hope, he is not coming back!"

35. Go to another aisle. Block it. When people ask you to move faster, tell
them, "Now now, don't be hasty!"

36. Ask a male salesman for tampons, then follow him and snicker while saying "Not with ten thousand men could you find this, tis folly."

37. Go to one of the automatic doors, lean against it. When someone attempts
to walk through from the other side, yell "BRACE THE GATE!" and push against
it with all your might.

38. Go to the bathroom, plug up the sinks and toilets, turn the sinks on and
flush toilets repeatedly. Yell, "BREAK THE DAM, RELEASE THE RIVER!" and run
out screaming as it floods.

39. Go into the bathroom, lock the door. When someone knocks, say "NO THANK
YOU! We don't want anymore visitors, well wishers, or distant relations!"

40. Stand at entrace and greet customers with, "Welcome to Rivendell."

41. Yell over the loudspeaker, "Crebain from Dunland, HIDE HIDE!"

42. Look at woman washing her hands in restroom, tell her, "do not disturb
the water."

43. Take out condom, hold it up to light as if examining it and say, "What
is this new devilry?!" to salesman.

44. Wait for lady to enter bathroom and say, "Yes I can smell it. We are not
alone."

45. Everytime the old man at front door tries to greet someone, you yell "do
not let him speak! He will put a spell on us!"

46. Scale counter and stand beside the clerk. Say to him, "I have only served you my lord." When he calls security say to him, "Send me not from
your side!"

47. Stand by the exit and yell, "LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!" when somebody walks out.

48. Walk behind a young women and say to friend, "Look what Smeagol finds!
They are young, they are tender and nice, yesss, eat them, eat them!"

49. Go up to a random person, give them a box of tampons. When they say,
"These belong to you.", say, "It is mine to give to whom I will."

50. Go to a magazine aisle, glance at the Playboy magazines and mutter under
breath but loud enough so that others can hear, "The doom of man."

but like..
okay, me and him are a year apart. anywayyy...get to know him so well that you guys can actually talk about your PERIOD without him even flinching! when that happens...i can almost garantee that he'll ask YOU out. =) alright, talk to you later! byee
» XxAzNlUvVeRXX on 2005-02-02 07:05:53

yay!!!
congratulations on your first paycheck! are you going to spend it, or save it? so do you like the job so far? i still haven't gotten a job here, i need one really bad. our cable rates went up 20 dollars! it's awful. have you decided on your prom plans yet? good luck with them if you haven't!
» Chloefoxx on 2005-02-03 11:35:12

ROFLMAO
That's HILARIOUS!!! lol...
» LittleBrit on 2005-02-04 07:20:59

What?
You don't have lembas? You do know that one small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man tho? Hahahahahahahahaha... I'd laugh too much too... lol
» LittleBrit on 2005-02-04 05:24:40

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