...awful today. last nite i over heard my aunt talking with my uncle and she told him that when she sends the stuff over, like boxes full of clothes and food and stuff, that she has them have my grandma go to that person (who she sent it to)'s house, and that she tells them not to bring any food to my mom :( thats the most awful thing ive ever heard her say. then my aunt takes her anger out on us by asking if we want to be sent back, and we say no, cz we both want to have good educations, thats wut our mom wants too..and she tells us that the way our mom treats her is the way she should treat us...NO! i dont think so, that was the second most awful thing.

anyway then theres the time where i keep checking to see if the letter to become a citizen or wutever comes in the mail yet, and she keeps telling me that maybe "they dont want you" i cant believe she would say something like that...sometimes i feel like maybe i should go back and live with my mom, but then i wouldnt have anything to eat there and stuff...which is just bad...but i think she should be sending food and stuff that my mom needs to her...she shouldnt treat her sister like that, even if they are fighting, i mean me and my sis fight but we wouldnt not send food and stuff if one of us needed it really badly...and my mom does need food and stuff really badly.

last nighte she made me write a letter to her signing it as my uncle's name...she made me write the most ugliest things in that letter...then they both had me rewrite it, cz i was doing it word for word, and so they had me rewrite it so that it didnt sound like she wrote it. i really regret writing that letter for her...it sounds like i hate my own mom and i dont...i have no reason to...anyway i dont know what to do about this situation im in. having my aunt tell me what to write to my own mom. and before she told us what to write and she would read it to make sure we didnt change it, and then she would send it to our mom...i felt really, really bad doing it too...im just glad that this coming december ill be 18, but im not sure if ill be a citizen just then, so that means that i cant move out until i turn 18...NOOOO! i think i might have a nervous break-down or something...so yeah thats all for now...

writing this out and having you guys read this and help me out with my problems helps me out in so many ways you guys dont know. i think of you guys as my family... :)

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