was what i did bad? how come my friend feels worse than i do. it is both our faults, but it doesn't bother me as much as it should. i guess i see it as another bad mistake i made. we all make mistakes, but how come when i make one, everyone makes a big deal out if it? i guess it's because i'm the quiet nice one, and everyone expects me to behave. i hate that. why do people see me like that? how come no one expects me to screw up? i guess these people don't really know me all that well. it's because of my shyness, i'm afaid to speak up. i'm afraid people won't care or won't like what i say. how come i get caught for things other people can get away with? this was a wrong choice something to learn from. i just hope the person we did it to doesn't think ill of me, i'm not a bad person, i just screwed up. why with most of the stupid things i do, i don't think it through. but how are you suppose to? you just get caught up in the moment and go with the flow. why can't i think in pressured situations? i guess i'm just stupid. but after this, after all this ends, i hope everyone forgets. there are worse things that could've happened. this just seems big because my friend and i are good people. in the big picture this doesn't matter, but in our small world it does. i've screwed up before and people helped me. i don't why people like me when they hardly know me. maybe i should try to get out of this shell, try to be better, but it's hard when you've been like this for so long. it was a mistake, a screw up, bad judgement, a wrong decision. who cares, i just don't want people to think i'm a bad person, i messed up. i wonder what it'll be like from now on.

Wow, your too hard on yourself
I'll give you the advice my dad gave me. He told me, "Cheer up, things could get worse." And sure enough, they did. :-) Keep your head up.
» DeeVeuS on 2006-01-08 03:43:20

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