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Wednesday. 9.22.04 11:47 pm

watching: the screen yet again listening to: the tv mood: kinda icky yes....I finally let go and cried today. not one of those wailing emotional outburts cries either.I was just sitting there with josherz and I had told him what had been said and he had told me not to worry about it that we knew what we felt and thats all that mattered. but, I let thingz get to me and I sat on the edge of the bed while he held me and silently cried. He wouldn't have known if it wasn't for the tear that slipped down my warm cheek and onto his arm. Then he kept asking what was worng...and Im the type of person that closes up and doesn't talk about thingz. Im just not very open. Or I feel like no one will understand me. But finally I started trying to explain thingz to him and we talked about it all and he got me to smile and I feel better about thingz now. I just wish that everyone could see and understand and not be so damn pessimistic about my relationship with Josherz. My entire life everyone always told me that when I met the ONE I would know it. There would be no second guessing it.I never had that happen until I met Josherz. I just am so happy with him and I feel complete when im aroundhim and all fuzzy when I think about him and he gives me butterflies and I could go on and on. I just know that what Im feeling is something real and something Im not going to let go of. Im afraid if I do I'll never find it again and I don't want that to happen. You know I have 2 journals, well actaually 3. The 1st one I have I dont usually write in its on livejournal and its very censored. Then the second one I have is on xanga and I have been writing in it but I still dont talk about somethingz on there. But when I started this journal I decided not to let anyone I know, know about this that way i could just vent. I also get other peoples points of view. I dont know, all I know is that being uncensored helps and letting it all stay in doesnt. So,hope yall are venting some way or another....it helps....**lata

1 Comments.

i know how you feel
ok i have to edmet that the age diff between you two is not as much as it was with me and sierra (i was 16 she was 13) well any way you find out who your real friends are when shit like this happend and it pisses me off when ppl interfear with your love life, GOD DANM IT ITS MY FUCKING LIFE YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!! i know how you feel it was about the same with me and sierra and me and lori, ppl thinking oh you only know her for a cople of hours or you only knew her for a week, so fucking what you just keep your god danm nose out of my bixnies and we will not be going round. and you will live a nether day, im happy for you and shit like that cas i know what it is to go throw that shit, well hope that helps a lot, oh and i have a lvj and a xanga journa to thay are both nc_cervidal so that makes it easy for you to remeber ttyl peace out.
» hatchetwarrior on 2004-09-23 02:59:52

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