Mood:: Kinda tired
Music:: The Planet Smashers ===> Song:: Opportunity
Talking to :: Joscel kinda
Hi. I think I have a lot to say again. I'm not sure though. I guess I'll just start writing and see where it goes. OK? OK.
Wow I can't concentrate with the music on. That's a first, usually I'm fine with it on, or it even HELPS me concentrate. I'm guessing its because right now I'm listening to Radio AOL (Surprisingly cool!) and usually I listen to CD's and stuff I know, so when it's new stuff it distracts me, plus I think I feel like I have to play a little attention to make sure bad music that I dont like doesnt come on. OK, but anyways, I'm gonna turn it off.
There. Sad too kinda though because I kinda liked that song. Oh well.
Let's seeeeeee what to inform you all on....
I guess I'll just tell you about what's happened to me since the last time I wrote...yeah.
On Friday I talked a lot in the socratic seminar in English again. I think people were starting to get mad because I was supporting Communism. Well, not supporting it, per se, just mentioning some of the good points about it. I don't know why that made people mad, but they were glaring in my general direction. I guess maybe it's because they were brought up their whole lives to believe in Capitolism and nothing else, and were always told how bad Communism is. It really isn't evil. It's a valid theory. I'm not necessarily sure it could ever work, but that's only due to human nature and the greed that entails. It might be able to flourish someday. But anyways, they were giving me mean looks, and one person was like "Dude, what the heck, you Commie, Communism is bad!"...when I asked why, they didnt have an answer. *Shrugs*. Perhaps they were just mad because I was talking too much.
And I remember at one point, I believe during the debrief, I was talking, and I was realizing my comment was going on for quite a while, so I was trying to speed it up, and they all started laughing at me, I guess thinking "shut up!"...so since I didnt want to make them feel like I didn't care what they thought, or anything of the sort, I ended it short. I dont know why that stuck in my head, but I remember that one point...and I remember not caring that they were laughing at me...and I felt proud, for not caring. Mabye it's stupid, but I guess I felt like it made me a bigger person for not caring what they thought. I dont know.
Friday was also another thinking day for me. I found out that day that there had been like 7 fights in our school within two or three days. That gets me every time. I feel so bad! I wont explain it all again, since I'm sure none of you want to hear it again, but it is just so shocking and apalling to me. And it made me think again, all day. I was just sitting there watching everybody, even more than usual, and kind of analyzing what they do, trying to reason out why they do what they do. It's funny, I guess, but maybe I feel like if I can figure out why they behave the way they can do, I can do something to prevent it, to stop them from fighting, or to make sure it never happens to me...I wouldnt want to be in a fight, you all know how I feel about them, and plus I would feel SO bad if I hurt the other person, physically, mentally, or emotionally. So I just want to avoid it. And hey, I'd love to help others avoid it too.
Saturday was a good day. I woke up somewhat early for a weekend, at about 9. I got ready for the day, took a shower, and then I was off to a protest against the War in Iraq. I dont know if any of you knew, but I'm very against it. My dad has turned me into a raging radical liberal. And for that I thank him, because I really do believe that, and I hate to use this term, but I can;t really think of another way to phrase it at the moment, but, I really think that we're on the correct side. I hate to phrase it that way because there shouldnt be sides, we should all just be one. But maybe thats just not how it works...and maybe I'm just too young to understand. I think it's more of a matter of life than politics really. But that's enough on that subject for now. Back to my story. My brother's ex-girlfriend, and I kind of like to think of her as my friend, although she is 21...I dont think it matters, its not age that determines friendship, but character...anyways, she, my dad and I, all went down to the rally in Seattle. It was a blast! We played my Beatles CD in the car, and it was cool, because all three of us enjoyed it, and were able to agree on one thing. We also played my Weezer CD :-D. Hehe. Anyhoo. We got there and the march had just started, so we caught up and marched along with them. It was really amazing, because there was so much to take in. It was awesome, really awesome. There was so much to see and hear. Signs everywhere, people everywhere, costumes, dogs, skits along the street...it was a kick! The three of us walked along, I was silent, just watching everything, soaking it all in. Even though all we were doing was walking, not talking or anything, it was thouroughly entertaining. But I think the coolest part was, I was walking and watching the crowd, when I look forward again, and who do I see, but...My English teahcer!!! It was crazy! I look up and I was like "what??" and then I said hi, and he looked surprised to see me there, and I'm sure I looked equally surprised to see him. I called my dad over and introduced the two, and my dad said "and she's in your English class?" and Mr. Halloran said "Yeah, she's great". Which confused me, because I'm failing English at the moment. I plan to get my grade up by the report card time, but it was odd, because how am I great if I'm failing? I thought maybe he meant personality-wise, but then I thought about how I'm usually pretty quiet during class and havent really let on to my personality much. Then I wondered if the past few days in the Socratic Seminars had made a difference. But then I though, no, I dont say anything good in the Seminars anyways, when I do talk, it's all just pintless crap, and a lot of it is me pushing the subject we're talking about to fit me better, to be something I'm more interested in. Like in the book they have a Communist government, and someone mentioned it a little bit, and I took it and ran. I made the whole conversation about Communism. I dont know. Maybe it's just something he would say about anyone. I'm just glad he didnt talk to my dad about me not doing so well!
Anyways, the rest of the protest was very cool. We marched down to the waterfront then listened to some speakers. They were really great, very interesting, and I learned a lot about the war and everything that's going on in our world. It sickens me, I can't believe all the things our government does, and behind our backs at that...but I wont get into that because I would end up writing for three hours and bore you all to tears, even more so than you already are! But anyway it was very cool, and Ed Asner spoke!! He's pretty famous, he was on the Mary Tyler Moore show. He was brilliant. Really a moving speaker. We left after he gave his speech, and as we were leaving we could hear some rappers. And I actually liked it. Because they werent talking about "bitches", "bling-bling", "sticky green", and "hoes", they were rapping about something they really believe in, a good cause. See I dont mind rap at all if it's about something worth listening to, which is rare. I still dont consider it music, its really not, but it CAN be beautiful poetry. And those guys were, and they really had some clever rhymes too. So it was cool. There were some cute guys too lol, sorry I just had to add that.
And on the long walk back to the car, there were vegans passing out vegan meals! And they handed my dad and me one, but Fiani (my brother's ex) didnt take one lol. But inside there were a couple miniature doughnuts and a weird sandwich. At first I was leery of taking food from a strange vegan on the steetside, but I saw a lot of other people eating it and not dying, so I decided to try it. I tried the doughnuts, and they were good. Then it was Sandwich Time. Ok. The sandwich filling...looked like poo. It did not look tasty. But I didnt want to limit myself, and so I decided to try new things. It was supposed to taste like smoked beef. It tasted like smoked beef...mixed with onions. It was not tasty. So I tossed it out, but hey, at least I gave it a try, right?
I came home Saturday, and just basically stayed online the rest of the night.
Sunday was another good day. I woke up at like 9 or 10, stayed online until mid-afternoon, then got ready for the day and got ready to go to The Battle Of The Bands! My sister's boyfriend's band was performing, and they wanted me to come and cheer them on. I had never heard them before so I was excited. My dad came and picked me up, then we went and picked Cindy AND Kelly up to go with us, and that made it even more fun. I love doing stuff with those two, theyre my bestest friends in the whooolllee world, them and Brianna. But anyways, we went and we were already having fun by the time we got in the car, being stupid and immature like we always are around eachother. GREAT FUN! And we stopped at AmPm on the way and my dad gave me five bucks to get the three of us soemthing with, he said drinks, but we went for hotdogs! Then he said that he thought we were gonna get drinks, and I said "Well we only have 5 bucks" and he laughed and told us to go get drinks and he'd pay for them too. And so we got our hotdogs (corndog for kelly), and our drinks and took them to the counter....this is where it gets good. Daddy pulls out his walletto and pays for the lot...and he DOESNT ask for his 5 bucks back from me! OH YEAH! lol. Anyways then we get back in the car and put our music back on (my choice haha...Weezer, Beatles, Ben Kweller, Ben Folds Five, good stuff man), and eat our hotdogs and whatnot and keep a-drivin. OH! But before i go on, I have to tell you the joke Kelly told us while we were in the gas station...its my new favorite joke hahaha...ok it goes:
What's brown and sticky?
A STICK!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love that. Anyways
We get to the place, and my dad goes in and gets our tickets and we wait outside. We thought it was funny because we looked like those people who stand outside and greet people hahaha. But then Dad comes out with our tickets and we go inside. It was SMOKY! It really botrhered Cynthia and Kelly...I didnt really care, i mean I didnt lime it but whatever. Oh and we saw my sister, which was cool, cause I love my sister. Shes 25 and has never lived with me (shes actually my half sister) and so we dont fight like normal siblings. SO that was cool, and we saw her boyfriend Brian. He's a really cool guy, my favorite of all her boyfriends thus far. So that was cool too. But anyway we positioned ourselves near the stage and just hung out, talking a little bit, but mostly watching the show. The first act we saw SUCKED. It was a female singer, and a guitarist and a drummer. Not good. I didnt like them at all. But then the second act was pretty good, I actually liked them quite a bit. They were kinda indie-emo i guess. Good stuff. Cute too. Which reminds me there was a LOT of cute guys in that place lol. Ok, then the third act. They were frickin awesome. They sounded pro. Very very good (and yes, cute!). I woulda bought a CD if i couldve! I liked em. Ok, then, after them, it was time for Brian's band, Dead Scene Celebrity. They rocked!! The band before them might have been competition though. But they were very good! A lot like RHCP i guess. I liked them. So since I was there to cheer, cheer I did. And loud! And I made Cindy and Kell cheer loud too! Hahaha it was funny, if they cheered for any of the other bands, I pinched them. I think they got the point ;). But MAN we cheered sooo loud. Seriously, we were in the front row screaming, and the bassist was like "Wow I'm likin the front row!" hahaha. It was cool. But we had to leave right after their performance cause it was gettin late and Kell and Cindy's parents were expecting them home. So we didnt get to stay at the end and cheer where it counted! :(! But oh well. The car ride home was ok, just listened to music. I got home, and since my mom was staying at her boyfirned Lincoln's that night, I was able to stay up on the computer til when i wanted to get off, which ended up being 3:30. The I woke up before the alarm, at 5:30. So I only got like 2 hours of sleep. But it was cool. But MAN when I woke up I had a monster sore throat from screaming! OH! AND I fell asleep with the heat on (bad mistake) and when I woke up, i was all groggy and didnt know what was happening and I was thinking something was wrong but I didnt know what, because like, i woke up and it was like a hundred degrees, and i was like freaking out at first, cause I was sweaty all over and I thought I was dying or soemthing hahaha, i though i had like a raging fever. Then mix that with the bad sore throat, plus the stomach ache I had, and of course I thought I was deathly ill! Lol. But my mom was gonna be home in a lil bit and I knew shed be pissed if she knew i had fallen asleep with the heat on and wasted money, so I had to try to cool off the house in mondo speed, so i opened every door and window, then sat outside in the cool morning air, watching for my mom, because I know she'd also be pissed if i was sitting there with every door and window open. So when she came I ran inside and shut the door real quick, then ran around shutting all the windows. I ran back into her bed, got under the covers, turned the TV on, and layed there watching it. She came in, asked me why i was up (i said i just woke up naturally), and said "its a little hot in here". Whew, that was close! ;).
So then since I was still feeling sick (I guess even though my mind knew the reasons for every "symptom", it all tricked my body into thinking i was actually sick), i asked her if I could stay home, she said no. Poo. So I reluctantly got ready for school. I dont really remember much about school that day, except for in English class. I asked my teacher to borrow a book, which I'm now reading. I borrowed "Das Capital/The Communist Manifesto" by Karl Marx. Because Communism really interests me. So I was just sittin there readin it, and I got this urge to do a dialectical journal on it, i guess because i wanted to understand it as well as i could, so i did the dialectical, even though it wasnt assigned. And I made a vow to myself to not flip the page until I understood everything on it! (Which I guess is why now, Wednesday night, I'm only on page 13 of the introduction! even though ive already put a couple hours into the book!) And I want to keep doing a dialectical on it, too. Anyways. It's weird because now, after the protest and borrowing the book and all, Mr. Halloran, my English teach, talks to me ALL the time. I dont mind it though, he's an interesting guy to talk to. He always talks to me for a minute or two after class, he asks me about the book, or talks to me about the protest, or whatever. It's only been three days now that he's done it, so Monday it was about the protest, and a bit about the book too. Tuesday, it was mostly about the book, and a little bit about an anti-war pin i was wearing, and today it was about the book. Oh, and I told him that I did a dialectical on it, and he was surprised. And he said he'd give me extra credit for it, so thats awesome. Cause I need the extra credit, cause I'm failin! But I wont be soon...but anyway...
Tuesday RA=w=KED!!! I'm the school part of it for now and just tell you the best part....I GOT THE NEW WEEZER DVD AND ENHANCED SPECIAL-EDITION 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY 2 CD BLUE ALBUM!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!! My dad bought them for me and brought them over, and that is why i LOVE him!! Lol he thought he was being sneaky too, he didnt say that he got them when i talked to him on the phone, but he said he wanted to coem over and give me a hug before he went to work, which he never really does, so i knew somethin was up. And then when he came i answered the door and there was nothin in his hands, but then i went to hug him and i felt the dvd in his back pocket! hahaha it was so funny, i like gasped! and he was all "aw dang it!" lol it was funny. But then I guess he was a little sneaky, because i only felt the dvd, and he pulled it out, and i was wonderin about the cd, but of course i didnt say anything because thats just rude, to expect more when he already did soemthing really nice for me. So i was like "oh well ill just get the cd myself soon" and i was happy to have the dvd, and then when he left he's like "ok walk me out to my car" so i did, then when we got there he grabbed the cd off his seat and was like "oh whoops! i almost forgot to give you this!" and that was just plain awesome. So he left and I looked at them for a while, and read everything, then put the dvd in. I was watchin it then my mom came home and made me go to the store with her, so i couldnt finish it. But from what I saw it was AWESOME!!! And then I came home and listened to the CD which was also awesome.
Now we'll rewind to the school day. Nothing really that special. But I walked around all day holding Das Capital and reading it whenever I got a free moment. Some people asked me what it was, then looked at me all funny when I told them what it was. I guess they don't understand why I would read it. But I get enjoyment out of it, its so interesting. Some of them read a few words of it and looked at me even funnier, because it really is very hard material. But I like it, and I like the challenge, and I like to expand my brain. Especially when its not required, because I can play by my own rules, and dont have to conform to set requirements and standards, that may or may not fit to me and the style by which i learn best. And I can go at my own pace. So I like that. Oh and it was funny, I was in advisory and my advisory teacher, Mr. Shoemaker (also my drama teacher), saw that i had the book out and made me put it away, but before I did, he was like "wow that looks like an old book, what is it" and i told him it was Das Capital, and even HE looked at me funny! But then he just said wow. I think for him he was more surprised that I was reading soemthing of that subject and difficulty, because I guess not many kids my age do..whereas everyone else looked at me funny because they were surprised that i would read soemthing like that on my free time, of my own free will. I guess it doesnt make sense to them. It makes sense to me though. Then again, so does dancing in the rain on the way to my classes if i feel like it...people are just different, I guess. And that's what makes life so interesting, isnt it?
Anyways, anything else cool that day?? Hmmmmmmm...no guess not. Oh wait! There's this other guy at our school who is obsessed with Weezer. We've talked a little bit, cause we've seen eachother's =w= shirts or whatev, but not all that much. But today he was sitting with all his friends and I walked by, and he was like "hey!". Well I figured he wasnt talking to me, so I kept walking, but then he was like "HEY!! Weezer Girl!" cause we dont know eachothers names. So I turned around and he was like "Are you getting the Weezer DVD??" and i was like "Of course!! I expect my dad to have it on my porch by the time i get home, or else! haha...are you?" and he said "Yeah, i preordered it, so it wont be here for like another week" and i said "Aw, well thats no good! Maybe Ill let you borrow mine" and he was like "Yeah!! Sweet! That would be awesome!" and I just laughed and said "seeya" and so did he and I walked away. I dont know why, but I just thought that was pretty cool. I guess I kinda wish we were good friends, because doesnt it just make sense? Weezer Boy and Weezer Girl! Come on now! Lol. He's cute too ;). Too bad he has a girlfriend. Not that he would go for me anyways. And if he did, its not like i'd go out with him (not yet anyways) cause i hardly know him, i'd have to get to know him first, and then see if he was cool. But thats beside the point.
Today, Wednesday. Drama class was SOOOOOO funny! We had a substitute teacher, and he was, in a nushell, a, how do you say? Dumbass. He tried to talk "cool", AKA like a gangsta, yo. So me and Cindy and Aaron were talking like rappers, it was funny. And then the sub was telling us STUPID jokes, and I lughed eccentricly at all of them. The sub didnt understand that I was not serious, and kept telling more jokes, which i just kept laughing harder at. Ok, for instance, he picked up a plastic clothes hanger and was like "I thought I'd hang around for i while!" and I said "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MAN! I GET IT! HANG AROUND, LIKE A CLOTHES HANGER, AND HANG!!! ITS A PLAY ON WORDS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!" and then he just kept telling more jokes. Like, he fanned Cindy with papers and was all "I'm your biggest fan!" and i acted like i didnt get it and was all offended and i was like "I'M her biggest fan! I AM!!!!" and he was like "nooo, im her biggest FAN" and i was like "NOOOOO! I AM HER BIGGEST FAN!!!" and i was like yelling at him. And then he was telling why did the chicken cross the road jokes, and instead of saying "why?" i would actually try to answer them. I.E....
Him: "why DIDNT the chicken cross thye road??"
Me: "ummm...because it didnt want to!"
Him: "no..."
Me: "uhhh...OH! Because it was at home making dinner!"
Him: "no, because it was its day off!"
Me: "I WASNT FINISHED!!!! I WAS STILL GUESSING!!!!!"
and i would just flip out. It was great, cause he never caught on to the fact that I was just being a stupid dumbass. So he continued to be.
And then we were playing our improv games and he was completely acting like a 5th grader! Like, he wasnt being a respectful audience memeber, we'd be performing and he'd yell out "whatever!" or "thats a lie!" or something. It was rude and annoying. And thats why he is officially a dumbass...but I do wonder why he did those things. What makes that guy tick? Had he had past success with acting that way? Was he used to teaching younger kids? Was he never a teacher at all? I wish I understood people better.
The best part of today was after school. I got to finish watching my Weezer DVD!! It's so cool!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!! It's my favo movie haha. It's the best. I just keep watching it over and over. It's funny, and cool, and perfect! It makes me wanna say, YAY! Cause its just that cool....and im just that obsessed.
I have been feeling sick since Friday, and I have tried to stay home every day since then. But every time my mom said no. And now today she said that if I still felt sick by tomarrow, she would let me stay home. So I'm all excited, cause Im really not THAT sick, just a little, and Im thinking "WOOHOO DAY OFF!!!"...then I talk to Cindy and she rmeinds me that tomarrow is the last day to audition for the school play!! So I think, "well, crap", and I decide to just go to school, so I can audition. Then I call my mom just a few minutes ago (shes at her boyfriends again) and she says I sound terrible, and says I HAVE to stay home. (MAN thats a change!!!). I tell her, no, i need to go, and she keeps saying that i have to stay home, and im practically begging her to let me go to school (god it feels so wrong!!), and she says that she will write me a note to my drama teacher asking him to let me audition Friday or whenever. But Im scared that he wont let me! If i cant audition ill be crushed, i REALLY want to be in the play! I want the lead role!! I doubt ill get it...but i want it!!! Really bad! And if I cant even have to chance to get it, it will suck so bad! So thats why im really scared to stay home tomarrow! But I guess I will...I guess I dont have much choice. And it will be nice to have the day off...and i DONT have my homework done, and i dont want to do it...BUT i DONT want to miss out on the play!! But oh well, I guess things have a way of working out. So ill just go with the flow, and hope for the best.
I guess thats just about all I have to report...or at least all I have the energy to report! Chelsea signing off, over and out.
Mood::
Worry Rock
Music:: Her Space Holiday ===> Song:: My Girlfriend's Boyfriend
Talking to:: Stew
