I'm veeeeeerrry tired. Just got off the phone with Stevie, but still don't think I can sleep. Lately, I've been completely nocturnal, making it hard for me to go to school and still leave with a passing grade. I need at least in eighty on both my math and global studies exams to pass with a B, which is my ideal, if not an A.

It's hard, though. I'll tell you that. Even though it's just high school, not the real world. There are so many expectations still on me, to be better than my brother, exceed further and quicker. I'm starting to believe that humans only have second babies as machines to erase the first baby's mistakes and correct them with complete perfection.Like a BetterClone, one-upping First Baby until its meaning is obscure and meaningless next to Second Baby.

I'm so rambling, but I must wonder if Mike ever thought anything about this. Since my mom always supported the things HE did, first, instead of my original talents. I may draw realistic human beings, and I may get published in minor things for my writing, but she still misses the way I played violin (and that was a year ago)?

It's hard to understand.

Maybe I'm just delirious. I certainly am dizzy.

Argh.

Sighing off.

i understand ur feelings because i was compared to my sister who 'was' seemed to be smarter than i am, went to the best school of my city and etc.

if i were not like my sister, my mum would beat me up.
» renaye on 2007-05-17 12:54:16

My dad does the same thing. Technically, my brother isn't better or more talented than me, but yet he always kept on a higher pedestal than me.
» Southern on 2007-05-17 02:01:43

fuck expectations.

also, unicornasaurus is the best handle ever.

cheers,
sank
» thaitanic on 2007-05-17 07:53:36

Man, I always read these things so late.
The case is reversed in my family, where as my mom compares Sean to my grades and behavior. Besides, he's only two-three years after me, no time for me to make a huge blunder or whatever.
» middaymoon on 2007-05-20 04:46:57

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