sooo N doesnt mean using each other but needing each other?

I wonder if I have friends because need them, obviously I think I need the they help me. Did she in the future she feels that she doesnt need her friends anymore? or the old ones?

maybe its because we're different people. She has someone who will be there foreve for her, because the rest of us don't have that, we go out and form some very strong bonds. Maybe thats the difference between us two.

but the again she says that she wnats to find someoe irriplacable, doesnt tht mean she wants to form a bond like that? but at the same time she questions the possibility of its existence?

There are definitely people in the world I don't need, I know because when they leave I'm not sad at all.But then again how much do I need the people around me? I will keep living if they die, I will keep getting up everyday. Can I go on living without them?

maybe she wants to find someone she cannot live without, I think that might be impossible. Her standards are very high.

Maybe its also because she has to share everyhting even her friends. Because usually when a person forms a bond with another it is not shared, can they be replaced by each other? N by P, and P by N? is that what she means? someone which is irriplacable because they recognise her for who she is rather than someone who looks nearly exactly like her and acts very like her?


















is it because she feels replacable herself.













hahaha it amuses that she probably will one day read this. I never thought about it from that perspective either. But really I think im making a valid point.














Do you feel that you want someone irriplacebale and find it hard to find soemone is your life like that because u feel replaceable yourself? you want to find someone who doesnt feel that you are then replaceable?

I've flipped the question back to you. Maybe that is whats truely holding you back form finding your special someone.

.......... *edited*

that hurts. I feel that hurts even though im not one of them.
.....*edited*
I realised I probabaly will not be able to cope with that.

I know their personality differences, I've noticed well enough that I can distinguish them from each other from either what they say or the way they act. Theyre very different in ways, only different because theyre so similar.

At the start i recognised them easily.

I tried. I really really did try.
...*edited*
doesnt everyone want their own identity? so I distinguished the two, because if I were one of them, ......*edited*.

Actually I take back what I said. It does make a difference which one of them is there. Each of them give me a difference feeling, like the basis of them is different.

in a way i'd say P gives off a more similar feeling to that of shaneeza.
N is far harder to place in ways.. not sure havent thought about it.
only realised P gives off the feelig shaneeza does to me - kind of.

...................*edited*

Lynne said to me one day which is perfectly valid, this is when lynne wanted to go on the chia trip with me and the twins and G. I asked would she be annoyed if N and P went off with G. But we came to the conclusion that it'd be fine, caus prbs one would stay with her and maybe the other might go off with G.


Only now looking at it do I realise that it showed in that comment, .................................*edited*

Do they both just want someone where they care about one of them and one of the differently to the other one?


........*edited* Everything harder than I realised. because its natural for people to cross their boundaries.

ouch.

But then again theyve been liking like this for a long time. therefore their feelings must be different to mine

....*edited*

damn....gotta hurt.

-----

But then again theyve got each other, which means something beyond anyhting. maybe that surpasses the pain that I can see.

maybe it in itself is hard better than anything negative that can possibly spawn.

xxxxx



----- edited, not because I dont want N or P to read it, but edited after G said I think too much, my thoughts woud possibly hurt them far more than I can see. So G told me to password protected, though in my protected one I did give them warning... G said it wouldnt be enough....

If you want to read the passworded version, think about whats most related to this entry, and write it in. Should be the first thing you think of.

But even G says that it will really really hurt them. Really? but its only my thoughts... they think differently to me... they might not find it painful at all?

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