I feel like that is truely what i am doing. I havent really expressed my true feelings to anyone in so long, its kind of stressful and i cant really blame it on it anyone else b.c as fate would have it the one person who i could only imagine confiding this in is the one that i cant tell in fear of ruining something great....if that makes any sense whatsoever. I feel like i am just walking through my days with this smile on my face telling ppl what they want to hear and doing what needs to be done. Not living but sleep walking. i know i cannot be the only one who feels this way but as we walk through our lives with these happy plastic smiles its hard to tell what ppl are all about and how they really feel. I actually thought, silly me, that i was just about ready to relay all this to Mark b/c he was just a guy that i couldnt talk to. After all he was my boyfriend isnt that what you are suppose to do is talk this all out. Well anyways I feel now like im clutching, clinging onto anything that i can and i also feel like falling is what i do best so you would think by now getting back up would be the easy part. Well NEWSFLASH it aint! Imagine that! And another thing i think everyone should be well aware of is that no matter how someone looks on the outside you may never really know who they are on the inside...thats a hard concept to grasp. there are some ppl i see everyday but when i pass by them its a hazy fog and i dont reemeber much..i know i must have at least said Hey to them a time or two throughout the day but i guess the good example i should give is that yesterday i saw Jessie all day. we chatted and giggled did the normal stuff and when i got to her house last nite at about 450 we were picking out clothes and for the life of me i couldnt remeber what she wore to school that day and honestly what our convos were even about, now i find that very sad! So my goal for today: Pay attention to the little things that we seem to forget so easily!

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» Jere (203.128.89.36) on 2011-06-08 01:53:37

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