Friday. 5.21.04 1:01 am
listening to: Spiral
mood: energetically sleepy
The dance workshop with Ami Lengre has been so wonderful. She takes us through very difficult, complex movements, teaching and guiding us with such ease that we don't notice the pain or the discomforts. Instead we find the experience entirely pleasurable and the ride exhilirating. Well, okay, we do notice the pain. But we have so much fun while we're learning that we pleasantly ignore it.
I almost wish I could absorb part of her, have a piece to remember and use. This strange desire has caused me to remember the cannibals who would eat defeated warriors to absorb their life energy and knowledge. It also reminded me of people who have sex with someone to feel more beautiful or special, through some sort of selfish twisted admiration. Personally I do not want to eat Ami Lengre any more than I want to have sex with her, but I've had trouble finding a positive parallel to my desire to absorb her. If you have any suggestions I'd appreciate it.
She has so many interesting philosophies in dance that transfer well to life. "We're trained in society to be polite. It's good that our culture wants us to have responsibilities towards how we treat one another. However, being gentle isn't always the most polite thing to do. The body likes being treated roughly, firmly, given deep contact. Sometimes giving someone all your weight is the most polite thing you can do." Or about taking solos. "I don't like to call it selfish. I say self-full. Taking the focus can be extremely generous to the audience. When you take a solo, or check in with your body and do just what it needs for pleasure, many times you are being very generous."
Or most recently, "Practice courage. Whatever you are afraid of, whatever you most want but consider too taboo, whatever you will regret not doing--don't allow it. Don't be remiss with yourself. Take the opportunity and allow no chance of regret."
It's so self-focused--but it feels very freeing. Not selfish, I guess, but self-full.
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