Hello.

it's been a bit of time hasn't it?

quiet retrospection, personal indecision, triumphs in victory, and tragedies in time. I've been silenced. I've seen too much. I'm melting into the false warmth, the hazy aftermath, the oozing of my time, I'm scared.

I've let go. Since that may. that tragedy in may. since my stupidity, lets call naive immaturity. I wanted to experience that world, the one dreamt of by little girls and boys across the world. To breath deep the air of resilient freedom, of possibility unburdened by obligation and nuclear values. I forgot that with walking, comes snow and frostbite. consequences inevitable for, nature chooses as she wishes and lays low for no man.

i saw a picture of him today.

what miracles wires and metal are for humanity these days. It brings us warmth, shelter, and the worst of all knowledge. We have the nifty ability to create worlds and connections all via glass, light, and metal. These inventions of great impact, touch us on every level. Sociologically and psychologically.

I saw a picture of him today.

He was standing with a girl, smiling.

I get those shivers, not the ones that so conveniently run down your spine but the ones that convulse your body, remove control from your synapses, and shake your core. The shiver that knows. knows of your plight. knows of those well kept secrets. the shiver that bricks through a home, leaving tatters broken and windows shattered.

i shivered.

These broken thoughts of mine. these broken actions. where have i run to these days. hiding behind a slurry of films, music, and nicotine. I've lost me. Lost sight of the real goal. I allowed myself, lead the pack, over to the stripping kennel and left, hollow and unremarkable. Where am i child. where am i?

here.

i hope.

here.

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