We are going to church today i hope its epic so i can do what i love again, but what if kelly waits along time before he is saved? There is times of tiredness and hatred, Does anybody listen to hatebreed? they are a nice band lolol, but besides that i wonder what will happen tonight? a lot of teenage anguish people crying and maby just maby the demons will go rest finally, Ive been struggling through this for s long time now...
Ever feel like there is someone else living inside you? They control you, and all you can do is watch in horror this person isnt you why do they control you ever think that? Or maby im just pretty crazy not in realization of what maby my mind has created for me to think, sometimes it hurts because i feel it move beneath my skin and it wants to get out and destroy everything i have ever built up in my life, As I Lay Dying has a song called "Morning Waits" there is a line that resembles my realtionship with god (as i lay dying is a christian band btw) but it says, "What i have to give does not matter,if what i give is all to you" i wish i could give Jesus my life, no more time on this earth just for him to take me take me away from this place, I used to scream in prayers for jesus not to leave me because i would only feel him for a moment and i would try to keep ahold of him at SWC i did this i clung to the cross and only about 5 others were with me also crying out so was rachel behind me and even brianna was praying shes a HXC Wicca or something, but it worked i wish i could harness what jesus was made of and keep it in my heart, but i cant and i will fall to the ground sobbing because of it, There is blood on the tracks and i hope it wont be ours.
It could be like infinity though that raging system that flows through your body when your sick with over emotion.I wouldnt describe in a way i wouldnt understand and sometimes i think i soeak a different language i think rachel and i are the only ones who can translate it, that maby God sends messages through us through the leaves and the trees or the nerves and veins we have, that sometimes those words become toxic if we ignore them and they infect us like a disease and our blood becomes black and we taint with what we call hell. Serious deciples were killed and i would gladly die for him, i couldnt come upon the answer if i could live for him.
Its a funny decision.

Categories: life [t], hate [t], jesus [t], manly [t]

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