"Why do you choose to associate yourself with those kind of people?" - My brother.

That ^ question is running through my mind over and over again. How do I have such a .. colorful variety of friends anyway? From hardcore Christians to near gangsters. I really don't know.

That guy called last night. Let's call him Mike. "Mike" is working as a drug dealer to earn money since he is living at some homegirls place for low rent since he ran away from home. It wasn't his plan to do this but something went wrong onenight he snuck out. He was on probation so now he's got undercovers on his back. He actually got arrested the other day but was lucky enough to get off the hook.
He called last night telling me theres a girl that he's "crazy" about. I was completely fine with it. Then I found out she's been around and I said "oo.." but then I didn't want to judge her for her sex drive. And he told me how someone raped her and he wanted to kill him and that he had a gun ready and everything. And then he told me people want to jump him and some even want to kill him. And the biggest shock is that he likes this lifestyle. He's so careful on how he spends his money that he eats half a meal a day. I don't know what he's thinking. He always had a strange way of lookin at things. But he prefers this over being at home with his messed up mom controling his life. He knows his consequences but if he could he would've done this earlier. I told him, "You're only 16." but Mike said he knew and that he liked it this way.

The person I confided in told me to call the police on him. That I'd be helping him. And I know I shouldn't let it get to me and stuff but strangely it isn't and the fact that I'm not getting bothered at all from knowing he's practically in danger every day bothers me. Usually I'm a pretty motherly person (got it from my mom) but this doesn't make me lose sleep at all. I just hope he won't get caught for what he's doing and that he doesn't pull the trigger on anyone because it would be the waste of a nice guy. Maybe I would've cared if he was my boyfriend but he's not so I guess that's the good thing.

So, really now. How do these people find me? Do I really choose to associate myself with these people? And how could I call the cops on him? What kind of friend would I be? I'm going to still try to talk to him. Make some sense to him but I think calling the cops would be the biggest betrayal.

I hope this entry spaces out right. I jus saw a checkbox that said "generate line breaks" so maybe my paragraphs will be spaced out now. I have a xanga but I'm not used to the html on this thing. I would like to pretty this thing up but I don't know how. Anyone want to teach me? ._.

[[edit]]
Ok I figured it out a little bit.
The song playing is Aqualung- "Another little hole"
Tell me what do you think of the song and stuff :)

I like the song.. I turned off my music to listen to it. I usually don’t like it when you load up sites and then you have to turn yours down .. And.. Yeah. I liked it, but not as much as I liked your entry. I don’t think I’d turn him in either.. I know that we wouldn’t be that close of friends if he had a gun though, ‘cause I try not to surround myself with people like that. I try not to surround myself with people, period. But.. Yeah. You can’t help the way you feel, and it seems as though he values your friendship a lot to confide in ‘ya. Hope you figure it all out though.
» Dilated on 2005-08-14 02:15:06

I love this song too, aqualung are great :) But wow...he has a gun? Is that legal? I'm totally against all kinds of guns, knives (unless used for culinary purposes) and other tools for hurting people. In the end, these things are just gonna give some unfortunate soul grief. I'm personally also very phobic about all those kinds of things and I'd feel really uncomfortable being around people who held them. Likewise I'd break contact but not grass to the police (cops...thats so american haha) but it may be a different story for you as you already have a deep connection with him, but if he keeps this dangerous lifestyle it'd be best to keep away from his enemies and all...cause you wouldn't like to get involved with this all. If it gets too hard, it'll be your decision in the end to break away or keep with him...I hope you do find the answers to all the questions you keep asking yourself and that you keep safe. ok...? Talk soon,luv, Kat x x x (if u didn't guess your auntie...heh...)
» Kat (80.41.121.89) on 2005-08-17 06:31:50

im not weird. your friends got some balls. sorry for him. but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. sigh* makes me sad.
» jon (24.98.120.182) on 2006-08-10 09:59:39

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