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This is the annual Haraja Fest. Its so much fun! Hey, can you find me in there?

This is one of my best friends, Mushi Bushi. Ladies, this pretty boy's still single!

The Coin of Pangeanagoya
Sometimes, when you think you have your life all figured out, she bites you on the tail with an almost quotidian veracity of zealous torque. Ah, so let me continue where I had left off, where it all began about 9 months ago . . .

As I looked down, I saw that it was not a penny that I had tipped! Oh no, my friend, it had been much more—I had most carelessly given her the Coin of Pangeanagoya. I tried to retrieve that coin, but as the creases on this fair maiden's hand were infinitely deep, I quickly lost view of this treasure's very essence. Ergo, I dived into her hand as well.

What then ensued is impossible to describe, but I will do so anyway. I crashed into the River of Stygo, and my hairy body instantly desiccated as my epidermal amino acids reacted with the 70 degree Celsius sweat of this river like an African rhinoceros beetle sucking the green pigments from a ripe Norwegian avocado. After many days of endless drifting, I landed on the shores of Ika-Mahiriniriji. There, I met a young count named Mankajuice and immediately asked him if he had seen the Coin of Pangeanagoya.

"Yes," he said. "I have. The men of I have obtained the Coin and plan to release it into the fiery fumes of Mount Hirolima."

"No, this cannot be!" I bewailed, for I knew that if the Coin were to be fermented by such evil fumes, Dire, one of the 8 evil warlords of the ancient world, would be reborn as the President of Paraguayo.

"Where are the men of I?" I demanded to know. But, before Mankajuice dared to reply, it happened . . .

Ooh, ooh! What happened?
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