Oh yea... thats the way life goes i guess.

I really wish i could be happy... im just... not. and this time i have a valid reason, its just just cuz im sad or whatever... i omg... just want to go home.

Friday night would have been great Hockey Game, and Third Eye Blind at Merrimack... got a nice little UTI right before the hockey game... uhhuh... dont know if you all have ever had one... i just wanted to cry. honestly, i almost did. LaLook during the whole hockey game... mmmm Lalonde! The concert was so much fun... well should have been so much fun... if i didnt feel like i was dying. I had to leave early, and came back to my room to cry. called my mom, and she was no help, so i called mommy britt (chrissies mom) actually, i called lara first, but she no picky up. so anyway, mommy called police services, because she didnt want me to suffer till monday, cuz there are no doctors here on the weekend... so i went down there, adn was going to go to the hospital by myself, but when scotty found out i was going he wouldnt let me go alone, then kate like ran down there cuz she wasnt going to let me go alone either... no one wanted me to go alone, but i didnt want to ruin anyones saturday night... so, the cab came 45 min later, and i went to Lawrence Gen Hospital... gross.... sick.... scary.... disturbing.... ew. I was there for like an hour... told them what i had... and an hour later they told it right back to me. What.ever. So yesterday i got meds... wonderful... not really... so now im on 4 different meds... im afraid to sleep and i feel like i cant handle this. I just want to cry all the time, because im always sick, and i just feel like im not going to get better ever.

Im going home this weekend... everyone tells me to relax. RELAX???? i have 2 papers to write, and one to start, and col writing reading... and ahhh i have to work 2 days because im a broke fuck, and i have to have family time and family time, and family time.

Im hiding. I wanted to go home today, but i couldnt get my mother on the phone... surprise surprise... well, anyway, chrissie is leaving today, and im just gong to stay in my room and pack and sulk till i get to go home, so i can sit in my room... in my closet... on my floor... in my bathroom... and sulk more.

Buddy Countdown: t minus 2 days. i cant wait to see you all... cant promise the best of moods, but i love you all still.


well... im off to the SAK soon so i can check my mail. then im back to the dorm for the day.... not going to philosophy. fuck that.

pizzzout yo.

3

Forgot to add friday night... which was the "better" i had such a great night:

after a bottle of twisted green apple 70 proof, and the captain... me, chrissie, ash, kori, carolina, and doug went to tewksbury. ma and i played some drunken beruit... we all chilled, i got to sing cake with james... and mullhearn, so much fun... so much fun. had a little run in with a radiator, and it looks like i tried to slit my writst, no joke:
"no, no guys, nope, i really dont want that there... no, no i dont think i want that there... no thank you... nope"
"sarah where are you going"
"im going to go play with barbies... and drink some more"
thanks guys for your help... washing that and stuff. bad ratiator. grrr... lol so after walking back at like 23o the whole way martel was trying to talk to me, and scotty was trying to force me to tlak to him... when i really didnt want to. its not that im mad, im jsut... i dont know, sometimes i get a sick feeling in my stomach when i get around james mullhearn and martel... jsut... so much shit.... i almost cried when james was so nice to me... i just couldnt understand how you could be so nice to someone, and then have the heart to hurt them so badly... i dont knoe... but hmmm we get back to find out andy wolffe is fucking some... coughcowcough in his room.... hmmm "from 12 to 7 with one half hour break" its been fun listening to the boys harrass him. last night was so funny i was chillin with mark mike and aj, and they were like ew.. it was so gross ive never seen mikey like this before... he was like talking about how she was so fat "you dont even have to find the hole, just put in in one of the fat rolls" "cover her in flower so you can find the wet spot and put in in there" g-ross


well, id love to stay, but i must go. ash and kate are waiting.

peace

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