I've realized over time that as insecure as I am... I'm not the "typical" insecure of most girls. It comes to many things... things I always think to myself but have never really put out. Like weight... just about everyone worries about weight; too heavy too light... looking at the numbers on the scale. I'm uncomfortable with it too... except I don't care what the scale says... I see 145-150 and it throws me off too... size wise I look about 115-120 but I'm also 5'6 and not flat as a board. I like how small I am... especially with how horrible and inconsistent my eating habit are, how inconsistent I am with exercising and the fact that I had a 9lb baby... I'm smaller than a lot of girls my age who exercise regularly, watch what they eat and haven't carried a child. However I do want to lose a few inches... just here and there that I see that could be tightened up or used to be firmer.

>>> I will lose 3 inches off my waist/ tummy by my trip to OKC in April
>>>> I will focus on toning my arms/ developing my upper body strength to the point that I like how my arms look by April as well (the backs of my upper-arms jiggles quite bad for how little I am)

I also always hated my chest... I felt it wasn't big enough and never compared to models and even smaller-chested porn stars. My wish was fulfilled by pregnancy... I went from a comfortable B cup to an almost D... problem is pregnancy, lactation, nursing and then weening takes quite a toll. While I have the size I always wanted I hate them even more now with very feint, probably only noticeable by me, stretch marks and the fact that they almost look like they're beginning to sag because they basically flattened once my milk was gone and the extra skin still remained. I've done research though and decided to go out on a whim and try something

>>> I will use this Adorna cream until the little container is empty and see how I feel afterward... it is supposed to help fill my breasts back out to being perky and full like they were pre-pregnancy. I know it's a long shot but it's come to the point that I'm so uncomfortable with them I've even considered surgery a time or two... I just want some sort of a result before I hit the point where I'm done having kids/ before I decide it's time for a second.

I could pass as high-maintainence (sp?) by certain standards HOWEVER the people who put that label on me don't know that my manicured nails: I take the time to do them myself, my pedicured feet: I take the time to do myself, my well-kept eyebrows: I take the time with tweezers to do them myself [all three are done in the middle of the night when I am the only one awake so I am not on anyone else's time] my straightened and treated hair I've learned to do in about 3 minutes... 6 if I have to dry it, my make-up I've learned to do in no longer than 5 minutes, my expensive-smelling perfume is actually from Victoria's Secret and my day-to-day is from Wal*Mart... I'm no where near where these people place me to be... the majority of my day/ time is spent anywhere but on myself.

>>> I need to figure out how to settle my thoughts (hence the many many private entries) to be able to focus where I need to be focused. In the next year (365 days from today) I will be making $5,000 a month to be able to support myself and Bubba.

I don't even remember why I started this, honestly. I know I've got something burning on my mind, but I'm trying to draw myself away from that.
... I guess I shall go... I have a Pika-blanket to work on...

You weigh almost as much as me ... except I'm 3 inches shorter than you lol. I'm right there with you; I don't care about the numbers or sizes. I just would like to lose some inches. Just enough to be back in my 7s.

I remember how excited you were when your boobs got bigger and then how unexcited you were when you realized how much of a pain they were. Hopefully this cream stuff helps at least a little.

$5000/month ... I really need to work on my people skills lol.

And Pika-blanket...?
» LostSoul13 on 2012-12-06 08:47:43

As far as your chest goes.. your not alone. I went from a full C36 to a flat B36. I don't know what I hate more. The ugly purple-silvery stretch marks, or the total flatness.
» Midnight on 2013-02-04 03:18:47

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