It's a bit funny to me, and pretty amusing, how randomly things pop into my head. All these little thoughts I've had that I never really gave much thought to, I've actually started listening to them lately and I think I'm learning about myself through them. Some I'm not sure what they mean, others break down to things I've been working on about myself and then there's a (pretty big) group that just breaks down to random recurring thoughts.

So here it goes... time to be transparent with myself. (I was honestly kinda battling with myself whether I wanted this passworded or not... I decided it's time for me to be me)


- I don't really know how to drive; I can't wait to have my own car but something about driving scares me
- I love "Stars Come Out" by Zedd because it makes me think of a good friend and wouldn't even know the song existed if he hadn't pointed it out that he likes it because it makes him think of me
- He's also the reason I like Drake's "Take Care" and Justin Beiber's "As Long As You Love Me" (both have been sang rather loudly while we were in his car)
- It amuses me when people try to read/ interpret my actions
- It annoys me when I'm misread/ misinterpreted
- I give up on myself repeatedly every day but as soon as I realize I have I get mad at myself and try twice as hard
- I practically have to re-learn how to type after I cut my nails off
- I only have two regrets in life but I've realized that if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be the me I am today (or a mommy)
- I worry about everyone else before I'll even think of myself... it upsets me to think of myself
- I can walk past a mirror and see myself as beautiful and confident, turn around and walk right back past the same mirror and hate everything I see
- If I text "lol" I might not be laughing out loud but I really am either laughing in my head or I have a huge smile on my face
- When I'm at home I run in and out of the bathroom like I'm still pregnant (almost 3years later)
- I can't wait to get my hatchetman tattoo" removed
- I hope having my hatchetman removed hurts like hell so I'll make sure any tattoos I get are well thought out and not for the wrong reasons
- The only "bracelet" I wear normally is the stretchy part of a luggage-check tag I found on my bag waiting for my flight home from Dallas in September
- My "strawberry blonde" seems more blonde to me than I think it does to other people (other people = everyone else)
- Every time my phone goes off I secretly hope it's one person
- Whenever my phone goes off I never actually expect it to be that person... even if we're in the middle of a conversation
- I will listen to literally any kind of music... I just have to be in the right mood for what ever is on
- I hate not sleeping at night but usually choose not to because it's the only time I ever actually have to myself
- If I was 'prospected' or approached by me I wouldn't take myself as a serious business woman either
- I hate switching the jewelry that I wear and usually only take my rings off and that's just to shower, wash dishes or put lotion on (I imagine that's why I like my dermals so much)
- I can't wait to get my nipples pierced but am terrified of the pain and embarrassed by the idea of my piercer seeing me topless
- I also know that at least 25% of why I want my nipples pierced is to spite all the times I was told I COULDN'T get them pierced by different people
- I can't think when it's quiet
- It takes me forever to put laundry away unless I'm listening to dubstep/breaks/DnB or any form of techno
- Techno isn't usually a first music choice for me
- I honestly have no idea what color my eyes actually are... on my id they've been listed as hazel, blue and green even though I see more of a tinted silver/ grey
- I never know whether to use "grey" or "gray"
- I'm surprised I haven't blown my eardrums yet
- I daydream events/ situations I wish would actually happen
- I will still listen to and sing along with Spice Girls, Backstreet Boys, N*sync and old Christina and Brittney
- I can't wait to go to OKC in April; more for the positive energy and environment than to have the opportunity to learn more about my business
- If anyone hugs me when I'm fighting crying I'll be bawling like a pregnant lady watching the notebook within seconds
- I love cooking just to cook... usually I'll hardly touch what I cook once it's finished just because I don't feel like eating
- I'm looking forward to January when my insurance goes through just for the fact of going to see a dentist after about 15 years (I think)
- Excessive female body hair disgusts me... but I only want laser hair removal because I've found it's become difficult to find time to actually get to shave my legs
- I'll grab a nicer "business" looking top/ outfit before I'll consider casual clothes when I'm shopping but wonder why I have nothing to wear when I want to go out casual
- Kerli <3
- I'll grab any neon colored underwear before anything black about 90% of the time
- I could drop a small fortune on shoes in minutes if I had it but I know most of them would probably never even get worn
- I have no idea what my actual shoe size is (somewhere between 7.5 and 9?)


... like I said... most of it's pretty random... but the list goes on and on and I realize more little things, thoughts and changes every day. Most of it breaks down to me actually being me and not being the person I think someone else wants me to be. That and that I'm letting my mind just go where it goes and not trying to force my mind to think certain things.

And as the list goes on... I really should go to sleep...

I always tell people your eyes are blue/grey.
My logic for always using g-r-e-y is ridiculous.
What will you get once the hatcheman is gone?
» LostSoul13 on 2012-11-12 08:44:59

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