So I realized yesterday that it's been quite a while since I've even come on NuTang. I think about it every once in a while but never actually do, probably mostly because of how much it's changed since back when I first joined. It was a very small community back then... seemed like everyone knew each other back then too. The map was the home page and the person you were always guaranteed to see online then was lebattment (I know I spelled his name wrong)... or Aji with some very random post. It's crazy when you really think about it... that was back when I was in seventh grade; I've been out of high school for two years now.
It's really weird reading over some of my past entries to... wondering to myself how I was so caught up in someone who just ended up using me. Yeah, that fell apart and life's gotten so much better. I'm not confused about everything anymore. Instead not only am I in an extremely good relationship; and I'm a mommy now! Like I said, the differences are crazy.
I also, very obviously, don't live with Anthony anymore. I have a nice place with my sister now so no worries about flakey friends when it comes to rent and bills and everything of the sort. The only really bad change is that I also no longer have a job. However, yes, the timing on losing my job was just as good as it was bad. It gave me the time to really focus on taking care of myself through the end of my pregnancy, which was very hard to do with working.
With everything being said, Zek and Zaidrien are the two absolutely best things that have change in my life. Zek really is the other half of me I didn't know I was missing until I had to go a day without seeing him and felt like I was going to go insane. My little Zaidrien Michael, it's only been eight days and I don't know how I considered all my partying and everything "living" now that I have him.
[Zaidrien Michael ~ 05.20.2010 06:43pm 9lbs1oz 20.5in]
From the lost little girl that I was when I signed up, the girl who was depressed, lost and confused, to now... I see how much I've grown. Now that I'm a mother I almost wish I could go back and slap myself and tell me to get my act together. But I know that if I'd never fallen so low/ so deep... everything that's become in my life probably wouldn't seem so amazing and I wouldn't be so happy & satisfied with where I am... because I doubt I would be here.

My bubbie just woke up. It's time to switch back into present day and tend to him

It's awsome how you see things after a baby. I kno exactly how you feel babe. Tyler and I are engaged! Crazy right? I would love for you to come to the wedding. Were thinking about having it where we met, remember? lol. If it wasn't for you I would have never known him :) Miss ya like crazy! hope all is well with your little one
» Midnight on 2010-07-07 06:10:54

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