+ It sucks when you lose people... especially when it gets to the point that you lose that one or two people who you thought you'd always have. The people you thought you'd always be able to talk to about anything... all the time. Those few people you knew you could never be upset around... even if your world was going up in smoke and you just wished you could disappear. What makes it worse is that you kinda go into this semi-delusional denial before anything... and whne that wears off, the fact that that person, or those people, who you truely love and never wanted to leave is/ are gone... it hits you so hard it's almost kinda crippling.

+ And it sucks because I feel like I've lost two of my best friends now. One I know I can't see... but we don't talk anymore either; and it's not just that "we don't talk as much as we used to" kinda thing... earlier this week is the first time I've said hi to him in months, and I know he's not going to send anything back. And the other... he was my sanity for most of the time I've been out here; I knew I could always go to him abouteverything... even if i just needed to cry for a while and didnt want to explain why.

+ It just hit me... like... really hard slap in the face hit me... that... they're gone ... and that I'm lost and hurt without them. I keep thinking about them when I'm not really thinking about anything... and I find myself wondering what it would be like if I were to see either of them again. What sucks even more than all that is that they were the two people I thought I'd never lose... no matter what. It seems as though, now, my nightmare has come true. When Anthony's not around... I truely am alone... painfully alone.

wow
reading this as made me want to cry. Im going through something if not identical very similar with two friends. And you.. You've been on my mind lately. I can't wait to see you again. Besides, when Anthonys gone your not truely alone. You know what I mean :)
» Midnight on 2007-10-15 06:07:42

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