Okay ~ it started out that he had feelings for me, I could tell, but I didn't want to accept it. So I ignored him for a while. The I decided what the hell?.... and we became 'friends.' Over that half / quarter of a year we became closer... but after that I was tired of it. He still had feelings for me, I could tell. So I started yelling at him, pushing him away, ignoring him, and avoiding him. But then I realized that what I was doing was wrong.... not just morally, but in my heart I could tell. So I stopped and I went to see if he'd forgive me. I never really ased him to ~ I went down to his house once more after so long and when he answered the door I said hi and hugged him. After that day I realized that the whole time I'd had feelings for him to ~ I just never wanted to accept them. After a couple days of me going down the road to his house to "bug" him I went with my heart; he walked me home, we hugged, and he turned to go back to his house. I ran after him not wanting him to leave. When we got to the driveway before his we hugged again cause I knu I had to go home no matter how much I didn't want to. I pulled away, kissed him on the cheek, then turned and ran home. After that I realized my feelings were a lot stronger then I'd thought they were. I started feeling more and more comfortable around him; and when we were together I felt like nothing could go wrong. But then I had to leave him, and since then nothing's been right. I miss him more then I thought I would ~ he's always on my mind. I've never felt anywhere near this before. And thought I care for him so greatly I'm afraid to tell him I love him. I fear he'll hear my words and run away. And I'm not quite sure what to do. I know he probably already know's how I feel about him, but I just can't pull myself away from the fear long enough to tell him I love him. He's actually the one that I least expected to have feelings for at first ~ yet he's the one that's burried himself deep inside my heart, and I can't help but to think of him. And as much as I thought that if I ever had feelings as such that it would be hell ~ but I admit...... actually,-smiles- I like it. ((hugs)) Love, Monkey

Monkey,
Wow, you really are in love with guy. Maybe you should just tell him that you love him. And try not to hesitate when you do, because that might make him think you're statement is a falsehood. Yes, I said when you tell him; because I know you can't keep it from him forever. Even if he does already know. Love, Nana
» life_is_blah on 2005-02-21 08:29:13

Oh, and by the way, cute Kao's. They really tie into your entry too. Love you sweety, Nana
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