mood: really quiet.... and sad
listening to: Kelly Clarkson's cd -> Breakaway

GRRR!!! I don't kno what's happening to me lately. I feel like everything's gone wrong... and there's nothing that can happen that'll make it all better. Ever heard the saying "your just putting salt on a fresh wound"??? Well, I think that's what's goin on w/ me. By crying about all this stuff it's not helping me out any -> in a way it's just making it worse. Like crying cause I miss Justin so much is just making me miss him and wanna be back w/ him even more. And thanx for the comments on my poem.... I'm still working on it, not quite sure what it's leading to either. I always knew looking back at most of the tears would make me laugh. But I didn't know that looking back at the laughs would make me cry. And that's what I've been doing, looking back/ remembering all the fun times and all the times we just went insane... and I've just been sitting crying my ass off about all of it. I'm gonna be getting my film, that I was using durring All-County, developed soon... then I'm gonna die. Each picture is gonna bring back so much-> especially when we were at Kissimmee Middle for the all day rehersal. I remember we were all joking around, Jesus didn't want us to take any pictures of him and I kept catching him off gaurd, and that was the day I met Daniel. Then there was the ever-famous Phillip and "Mr. Pokey" LoL. I miss it all so much, and I'd do it all over in a heartbeat. I'm really glad that mom told me that we'll probably be going down to Florida to visit durring the summer -> so I have something to look forward to. (and when we get there I'll choose my friends over any amusement place in less then a millisecond.) I don't wanna go to school tomorrow, cause I'm afraid that I'm gonna end up breaking out into tears just outta no where. But at the same time I kno that I can go to Seth (if he's there) or Mr. Cooper about what's been going on lately. And I might just hunt down Steven at lunch and say hi just fo the Hell of it. Just to bug him-> but not like I used to go to Justin's house after school to "bug" him. GR! Some one find Justin and tell him I love him... even tho I never told him so, I still love him. (ashley, u go to school w/ him... can u find him and tell him!? PLZ???) I'm gonna go for the night.... do my laundry and get ready for bed. Goodnight all, I u. and *hugs* to my family (u all kno who ur). Love ALWAYS, Monkey

me2
yea i ben doin dat alot l8tly too. like i cant stop crying. not to where u can c but im keeping it in. but its gonna sux wen it cum out all 2gether it gonna b a time wen ur here cuz no1 else understands. r we twins r wut? omg the all county picz. dat wuz fun. i still haven gotten my film frm the roller rink yet so im gonna b in tears callin u wen i get it k? YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY ur cummin down in the summer, u no u can always stay wit me. ok ill try to find him n tell him for u n tell him if he still goes there. well i gtg ttyl love you always *hugs* -Ashley
» sexybebe72914 on 2004-11-29 09:20:47

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