Every relationship I've ever been in has always been like "I miss you!" blah blah "I love you" blah blah blah.

I feel like I'm crazy. I don't know how to handle these emotions. This is what I was afraid of all these years. My stomach is twisting into a knot and my heart aches. I miss him so much it's overwhelming. I've never felt this way for anyone. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him in my life. I can't see myself with any other man. I can't imagine a future without him. I think about him all day, and when I get to see him again (which may not be for another 3 weeks)

This is why I went through hell. I learned so much about myself and I've become a stronger person. Being in an abusive relationship opened my eyes to a new world of empowerment. I've learned to stand my ground and not let anyone or anything tear me down. But, this feeling is picking me to peices. Bit by bit I am slowly falling apart. God is really testing my strength now. I want to break down, but I remember what He taught me through my life experiences and I hold my head high.

I love this man unconditionally. I never thought being in love wold be this overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing feeling. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I just want to start things now. I hate being apart from him. If I had the option to drop everything and leave everything I've ever known and move away with my daughter I would. I will do anything for him. Sometimes I feel that he doesn't understand how much I am completely crazy in love with him. It's almost to much to understand myself.

He asks me why I never told him I loved him all these years. Why I kept it a secret even though I knew he loved me too. I've told him so many different reasons why I wouldn't tell him. Every story is different then the last. But, the honest truth as to why I never told him... I was afraid to fall in love. Becuase I know once you fall there's no turning back. If something happened and I lost him or we didn't work out I don't know what I'd do with myself. I'm a wreck now because I can't see him as often as I'd like. I can't comprehend what life would be like without him.

I've gone completely insane >.<

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