Thursday. 11.10.05 9:50 pm
thats so how I feel. and I feel like crying. I have no idea. Well, maybe I do. I feel like my energy...my persistance...it's being wasted. I feel like I'm never gonna be good enough for him, like no matter what I do...it doesn't matter. He's still gonna look at me as the girl who cheated on him three times. The girl he can never trust again. So tell me, is there really any sense in me trying so hard to be with someone I love if he's pretty much dooming the relationship?! No, theres not. But Im jus gonna hang in there and pretend like...HEY EVERYTHING IS EFFIN GREAT. I EFFIN LOVE LIFE. No, I don't. Blah...
on to better news...
this week has been okay. got report cards...its as follows:
factual writing - 95
world cultures - 90
ecology - 93
algebra two - 96
wednesday I went and saw Justin. god I love him, but god hes killing me.
work has been okay...
...but I dont think I've ever been more broke in my life then I am at the moment which is actually quite funny seeing as I never buy anything except gas. haha...
I've been thinking about Allie alot. I really miss her. I wanna go see her but, I don't know what to say...what to do. It kinda sucks. This monday will be 3 years since Ash died. Its crazy. time is flying by...everythings changing so fast. I HATE this. I hate growing up.
...someday things will be okay.
Hey hey Sorry to here you have been with your sister 4 3 years now :(.... ..... and i still not realy to talk to ya cuz of all u have done to me and shit .... and good luck with that other guy ..... email me some time mabe ill get back at ya when im fealing that its all my falt and im the one just being stupid 4 not talkin to ya but i gess it makes me just 4 get about how i like ya i gess.... and shit.... also i got a job i dk if u know but its going grate i make a lot of money :) like $200 a week its nice sence i only work weekend when u and justin are done and we can hang out again give me a ring u know my number then ill be fine with being frineds cuz then i can hang out with ya again i hate haveing frineds icant see and when i do its all auckward cuz i would be with justin around ya know so good luck on shit withu and him and im out peace out my nigger lol
» Andy :-/ like to know whats going on in your life still i gess but im still not realy to talk to ya again (64.185.136.60) on 2005-11-13 09:36:47
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