today wasnt as bad as I thought it might be
welll
woke up this mornin not really feelin' like doing anything. I woke up at about 8 and went up to ash's grave? burial spot? wtf is the right word? ahh well, went up there and jus thought for a bit. it was realllly cold so i came back down to the house and crawled back into bed. I can hardly believe shes been gone 2 years today. It's amazing how fast time is going by now. I can hardly believe its been that long. What really surprises me tho is that I am still living at home, and am holdin' in there. I never thought I'd make it this long. Especially without Allie around. I really miss her so much. It's alot different with Ash. She was never around when she was alive so, it's not as...painful as Allie. Maybe its more painful losing Allie because shes not dead, I jus can't see her or anything. Life is odd.
Justin and I had hopes to hang out today but when he called at like 11 he wasnt so sure about it. That sucked but then I got off the phone with him and Joshy called. That kid is so sweet. He was like 'hey punkin, how are you doin...' I dunno, I jus think its cute that he remembers dates and stuff. We were going to hang out today if Justin and I couldn't...but the person I really wanted to see was Kym. So I called her and she was working. That sucked. Then Justin got online and we made plans to hang out. I'm so glad I got to spend the day with him.
it was jus...so much fun. it took my mind off everything else and jus... I dunno. I love that boy so much. He makes me so incredibly happy. like, lately I've been having...feelings of uneasiness about our relationship and how I was feelin' but jus being with him today made me drop all doubts. I love him. I couldn't imagine myself without him anymore. Sometimes, when I think about that it makes me sad. I told myself that after becoming so attatched to Ryan, I'd never be like that again. But I have..but for some reason, its different this time. It's really love...and it's great. That boy is jus amazing. I mean, everything about him.
We were watching tv and this girl was like 'that's the wrong hand but, yes I'll marry you' and Justin kept tryint o tell me it was the right hand and I kept tellin him it was left and so I finally asked Lisa...his mother, and she was jus freaking out. She was like 'nooo you're too young to get married...noo noo noo, don't even think about it.' and it was so funny. haha I finally got a chance to explain why I asked and shes like 'ooooh' and Justin thought it was jus the FUNNIEST thing. I could see myself growin' old with him. I already have. I've grown...3 months with him. =) haha, yea shut up Amanda.
ooh and while I was at Justins, Scott called and was asking me about some stuff and Justins phone is SOOO loud. So Justin could hear the hole thing and it was jus bad and he didn't know what Scott was talkin' about and I tried to get him to understand that he doesnt need to know everything and that bothered him but, finally we jus dropped it.0
I love that about him. Like, he knows when I'm serious about droppin something and usually does for the time being.
Well, I am waitin' for a phone call soo...I'm going to go lay down and do some homework and then bed if someone doesn't call.
Justin...thank you for a great day...and for not tormenting me with video games.
I love you...
the words "tormenting" and "video games" just do not go together, Amanda Danielle. you just say that because you suck at them. HAHA. oh god. yeah, i can't believe it's been two years either. it seems like yesterday we were in eighth grade. sigh.
» chells420 on 2004-11-15 05:57:05
haha
actually, I am not that bad at them! :p Justin jus gets waaaay too into them and if I mess him up, he whines like a friggin baby. haha =) I know, time is going be really freaking fast. :/ I dunno if i like it or not
» Manda103 on 2004-11-15 06:01:51
i know the feeling
if someone messes me up, i whack them with the paddle a couple ten times or so.
» chells420 on 2004-11-15 03:45:19
haha
you needa get together with Justin for a play date. actually no...bad idea. :) but yano what I'm saying.
» Manda103 on 2004-11-15 03:46:56
Now that's something like it!
Well, well, it is not necessary so to speak. buy ultram Very amusing phrase cheap adipex You are not right. I am assured. alprazolam drug In my opinion, you are mistaken. valium online Aha, has got! buy diazepam 54e18e
» Ezekiel (12.35.110.235) on 2010-09-05 07:06:55
If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.
