I gotta get a physical so I can get a job this summer. I found one that I really want but I dunno if I'll get it. I hope so...I'll be gone almost all summer.

So this certain [at the moment] asshole called me tonite. I told him about the job that I called on and applying for and he fucking freaked. God, I dont understand what his problem is. What doesnt anyone get?! I REFUSE to let my life revolve around any guy again. I'm not allowing myself to get hurt again like that. Been there, done that. Sure I know I'll have my heart broken quite a few more times before I actually find someone but...I don't wanna be hurting right now. Too much other shit going on in my life right now. You know I care about you very much but, you also should know better then to even suggest an idea like that.

Jen said something to me tonite that were the words I've wanted to say for along time but didn't wanna believe it...simple words...I love her sooo much, and I really miss her.

as I do you...:-/

and most of all...Allie. Happy Birthday Sweetie. 14 years old...God I miss you.

for some reason, I feel as though my hole fucking life is a bunch of 'i miss yous.' yea what do i care anymore tho.

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