Today's been hard. It's soo hard for me to see Jamie and hug him and act as tho he didn't rip my heart to pieces. Today he just...Idunno, did something to me and I just started crying. I'm tired of crying, I don't deserve it anymore then anyone else...so why?! Why does it seem like I get hurt alot more often then everyone else? Do I fall too easily? Too Hard? Too fast? Do I pick the wrong kinda guys? Do I devote myself to much to them? Do I not devote myself enough?! Come on, someone's gotta have an answer as to why I'm always geting hurt.

On to better things, I wrote to Allie and told her Jamie and I were together but broke up, and I'm not sure how she's going to handle it...but time will tell.

I'm going to be 15 in 45 Days, I'm so excited. I'm tired of being 14, I wanna be older and I wanna be closer to getting to move out. I hate living with my parents, and it's notjust ordinary hate, but like...mental abuse or something...I dunno

I really miss Lori. She gets online and stuff but, I never say anything to her bc I'm afraid she's really busy or something and don't wanna be bothered...so I don't say anything. I wish I had listened to her when she told me Jamie was bad news. ::sigh:: I miss you!

Jen, I hope everything's going allright for you. I love yah to death and whatever you do, I'll accept it. I love yah baby!

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