I woke up today and it was about to be noon. Before I sat down to eat breakfast my mom got a call from a cousin of hers. He was living in Indiana 2 hours away from where we live. She was delighted to hear that and told us we would be going to pick him up and bring him with us as soon as possible. We all took showers and left (Jessica not included of course. She's much too special to go.) She went to the movies while the rest of us spent hours looking for my uncle's location. It was fun. When we got home Jessica hadn't arrived yet. When she got home I noticed she had make-up on. I know she's probably old enough to now (turning 13 tomorrow) but I wasn't allowed to wear it until I was about to turn 15 and I hate how she is able to do everything I'm restricted to until a specific time whenever she wants. I hate it and it gives me reason to not listen to my parents' rules and abide to them. She says she's going to get beat up in school on Tuesday...I hope she does. I'm sorry for thinking wrongly like this...it's not my fault...it's this week's. Justin didn't pay any attention to me during the second half of the game yesterday. I almost cried. But he won't find out. I feel bad for walking out on him yesterday when he said he couldn't call me this weekend. I understand why he didn't talk to me though. He was making a friend of Rachael. I would want to make a friend too. But not with her. I don't understand how people don't see that she's a complete show off. Always answering a question that was never aimed at her. Trying to get on everyone's good side and be thought of as some kind of great role-model-like upperclassmen that will never be forgotten. She's also annoying. She likes to give people wrong impressions of her. Niki and I rarely talk to her so she shouldn't be talking to Niki's mother like we're unseperable. Of course when most of you read this you will think I've gone insane and have lost complete control of my personal thoughts. No, I'm fully aware of what I'm talking about. I've known her long enough to know what she's like...and hate it. I just hope everyone who's her friend now either doesn't get annoyed by her or has chosen to be her friend of their own will. Anyway, I got $50 from my dad today and on Monday I'm going with Marisela to the mall and waste my ill-earned money. I'm going to buy Justin something to show him how much I love him. We're finally going to church tomorrow after like a month. Now I wonder how long it'll be until I'm able to go to confession. Seeing as how I'm going to be having football games and competitions on Fridays and Saturdays from now on... I need batteries for my CD Player. I have a used-battery collection of all the batteries it's used up. It's a plentiful collection any collector would be proud of. It's 11:30 pm...tomorrow I will wake up at 10 and close my eyes again and think of Justin. Then I'll get up and think of him again. I can't wait till Saturday...most likely next Saturday actually...maybe something will happen. Who knows. Maybe nothing will. It's nice to wonder.

thanks, i love you too, lol.
sorry i didn't comment on your last one, i wasn't on here for a while. japonese is awsome. yeah, but don't feel sorry for thinking that way, there are a lot of people i want to get beat up just because they annoy the crap out of me, lol. i know how you feel, with that justin thing. but your lucky, because you have him. the girls that i like that much i can never get, or have the chance to get. that is why i wrote that quote (lost cause is me). it seesm like i am not supossed to have the person i want, or anything like that. i felt so apathetic (loss of [good] feeling) and i blamed myself, b/c i thought something was wrong with me (self-deprication), i was blaming me for the feeling and i was blaming my lost "loves" for the thoughts in my sub-conscience. i was always thinking about them, and i didn't want to. i didn't feel like wasting my time on the people i can never have. well, sorry for the long, boring, and unentertaining comment, i just had a lot to say, b/c i might not be on again for a while. well, i got to go, bye. (don't feel apathetic or anything about justin, remember my name is dustin, which is similar to justin, and i'm not so bad, right? lol. bye.)
» zero_jak on 2005-09-04 11:31:13

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