welcome to my mind ...

Last night I had a dream that started out bad, got worse and ended up weird. It wasn't necessarily a nightmare though.

It started out with my mom getting a phone call from my older step brother {how he got her number, I'm not quite sure.} He told her that he found out my little step brother had cancer {I don't remember what kind} and that the odds of him surviving till his 14th birthday {he'll be 13 in February} were not likely. It was a very somber atmosphere after that, but the dream skipped ahead. I don't know how far, but it was dark outside and I was out there.

I was walking with someone heading away from a bar or a pub or some sort of restaurant where I could drink {it was after my 21st.} The guy was tall with dark hair and he looked like someone I had seen before in real life, but I don't know who he is. We were talking and when we reached his house, I told him I didn't live that far, I could walk from there. He insisted on walking me all the way home, but I told him that was fine.

He said okay, but once I walked away from his house and got around the corner, he was suddenly right next to me again. I told him again that I really didn't need him to walk me home, that I'd be fine. He said that he didn't know where I lived and he was curious. I said fine, that he could walk me to the driveway; I really didn't need him to walk me to my door.

We get to my house and I say goodbye, thanking him for the couple drinks and walking me to my house even though it wasn't at all necessary. I turned and headed toward the house and he was right by me again, telling me he wanted to come in. I said it wasn't my house, that it was my mom's and due to the later hour I didn't think it would be right for him to come in.

I unlocked the door and went to close it, but he put his hand on the door and stopped me, insisting on coming in. I told him that I wasn't comfortable about it and that he needed to leave. If he didn't I'd not hesitate to call the police. There was a struggle then, for me to get the door shut and for him to get in. That part ended and it skipped ahead again.

It was night out again, but I was in an apartment complex in the parking lot outside my new apartment. I had a few friends over and we were all outside admiring my new self-given gift. It was a motorcycle. I had bought a motorcycle! But I didn't know how to ride one yet. I was simply in the parking lot with my friends, playing around. I would sit on it, put my helmet on and pretend, but it would stay stationary. It was a black bike, with dark blue tinted here and there that you could only see if the light hit it in the right place. Not a crotch rocket, but still a sports bike. It was nice.

Then the dream ended and I woke up. See? Bad dream gone weird. Oh well. It was just a dream.

Anywho, I can't get Charlie off my mind. I almost wish I hadn't seen him. It would have been easier. I wouldn't have a very clear picture in my head. I'd just have the pictures on his myspace to go off of. Unfortunately I saw him and now I see him in my head quite clearly. Ugh.

Alright, that's it. I'll write again whenever.