Last night's plans didn't happen. I ended up just staying home and getting drunk alone. I needed to feel numb after the last couple weeks of not knowing which way was up or down. Getting to the point at which I drank probably wasn't necessary, but it happened anyway. I'm paying for it this morning. My stomach hates me again.

I'm very quickly coming to the realization that just because I say I'm ready for something to happen, doesn't actually mean I am. And when it involves two people, the other person has to be ready as well. Which also means that it could take a lot longer than it takes just one of us. I hate knowing that this is the reality of how things are, but I just have to accept what I'm being given and go with it. Asking for more could result in consequences that I may not be okay with. But assuming less will just put me back in a miserable place. The key to this is finding balance. Something you'd think, being a Libra, I'd be better at doing.

Do you have friends you can talk to about this in person? Face to face social contact is invaluable in these situations...
» randomjunk on 2014-08-29 03:14:06

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