Today was the first, and now last, time I went to church in quite a few months. I went along with mom since she had asked. However, I was hesitant because of various factors: the poeple there aren't there for the right reasons, the people there treated my mom like shit but still want her to do all the work, I don't believe what they profess, etc. Well, to start things off, we arrive early and head over to the parish hall. Everyone says hello and whatnot, and my godfather comes over, gives me a stern handshake and puts on a serious facade and says how he's so glad that I'm there at church and how he knows I'm supposed to be, etc. While hearing this and having my hand crushed, I can easily tell he's intoxicated. That's what pissed me off before, him coming to church inebriated and having his "serious" conversations with me. Well, after that, we head over to church and go through the service as usual. We get to the announcements, and after other people make some announcements, I see him stand up from the choir pew and walk towards the congregation. I knew this was going to be interesting. He stands up front and says that he's so glad to see his godson here, and that I've been called to be there, and not only am I talented with music, but I have many other spiritual gifts and I'll do the work of God, and he's so proud, God loves me and my godfather loves everyone there, etc. It became the Gospel of me. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. I would have been completely embarassed if I wasn't so furious. On top of that, throughout the service I just felt more and more out of place. I don't believe in half of what the service is about. I see the people there, the church is their crutch. It's like some spiritual AA meeting. Sadly ironic, since my godfather shows up drunk! I have my beliefs, and they don't require me to gather with a group of people and put on a facade. All God asks is to live a good life helping people. That doesn't happen in that church, and I don't need a church to enable me to help people.

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