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Kahne_Earnhardt_Fan
Age. 49
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Redneck
Location Spokane, WA
School.
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Ready To Blow...
Friday. 10.8.04 1:58 am
watching:
NASCAR Fast Forward *Talladega*
mood:
angry
OK... in an insomniac moment( I'd probably fall asleep if i'd just turn the channel off racing...) I decided to get up and write in my journal. I believe i have reached the anger portion in the stages of acceptance. He fucked me over and I am PISSED about it..I did not cheat on him... I did not break up with him after i got caught... HE did... I am tired of taking other people's crap because Rusty and i are no longer together. They didn't have to live with the constant pressure to be someone i'm not... i'm NOT a social person. I DO NOT like being around people, I do not like going out to social places... It's not my fault.. it's the way i am... If anyone is to blame for that... I wouldn't know who to blame.. so i just chalk it up to a twist of fate... I love my solitude... I love my quiet space wihtout other people in it... I'm quiet and more than content to be alone with my thoughts and the things i like... which really aren't that much... my motorsports and my internet... That is really all i want out of life anymore... my peace and quiet, my cable TV and my internet. This Alabama thing... i think it's going to be really good for me... i can find a place to live that will be really my own... and i'll be able to afford it too... maybe, if i'm far far away form everyone i know... and make new friends... ( like Maggie...lub ya doll!!!) I'll actually feel like I'm ok.. Anyhow... I'm gonna be ok... somehow....it's just a metter of getting there...



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