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Yesterday pretty much wasn't the best day ever. I decided not to go to my GED test. I was all of a sudden terrified of taking it. So Marcus and I went to Alex's Mom's house and I watched them peice together some POS honda civic hatchback. I went back to Nick's place, and waited for the boys. I was playing pool with PJ and Aaron runs into the basement and goes, "Liz, you're gonna stop playing pool once Nick walks in here. He lost his job, but I didn't tell you." So I put down the pool stick and walked outside to Nick and gave him a huge hug and asked how his day was. It was kinda funny cuz even though it totally sucked, cuz he was trying to explain how shitty today was, but everytime he looked up and saw me holding his hand, he couldn't help but smile. They wanted to drink, so we went down to Fish Lake and Aaron and Nick drank. I pretty much babysat Bubba cuz he took some pills and was trippin out. It scared me. He didn't seem like him, and he looked as if he was coming off a coke binge or an acid trip or something. Nick and I were sitting on a log, and he leans over and whispers in my ear, "I'm gonna marry you one day. You wait, I'm gonna marry you." I was like, "You'll break my heart if you don't." OMGosh I love him so much. Daddy told Rose that he doesn't like Nick. I don't care either. Dad's gonna have to live with it, cuz I love Nick, Nick loves me, and we plan on getting married the day I turn 18. We'll get married, then tell my daddy, then invite him to the party. Haha. That would be totally cool and hella funny. But I've always wanted my daddy to give me away to my husband. And I've always wanted to be married by my grandpa. But... Would I have my grandpa's blessing? By the way, my mom isn't invited. The people I'll want there are Daddy, Raquel, Sheralyn, Michelle, Aaron, Weez, Bubba, Skank, Amy, Andrea, Trev, and whoever Nick wants. OMGosh I can't believe I told him I'd marry him. I'm 17. Oh but I'm 17 and in love. I love Nick with all my heart, body, and soul. As Nick puts it, "I'm his one and only." And he's mine.

Last night I was mad at Nick and Aaron. I didn't say anything, but I bet they both figured. They snorted dramamine in my room while my dad was home. They're both stupid. I smacked them with my shirt sleeve. And I wanted to cry and leave when Nick and Aaron were talking about getting some coke. And then Nick said, "See what I have to do when you leave?" It scared me. And all of a sudden, all I could think about was Aja. And all my other friends that have died of OD'ing. And how scared I was. I don't want this to be like that. I would have just walked home from Nick's, but I knew that even before 5 minutes after I left, they would notice and come find me and force me in the car. It would be utterly pointless. I was real mad last night. More scared than anything. But real mad that they scared me and would do those things, or even mention them around me.

So I'm up in Everett now babysitting the kids. I cleaned Rose's kitchen for her. It's so fresh and so clean clean. I won't be able to go back till Friday night or Saturday morning. God I miss Nick. I slept with Coral last night and she clung to my neck and cuddled with me all night, but it's not the same as being in Nick's arms.