watching: VH1 - Inside Reality TV Shows
listening to: The TV
mood: Chillin and thinkin bout stuff
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I gotta hang out with Nick. I even saw Josh and stole a pregnancy test for his girlfriend. Josh says the reason why Megan hates me is because she's so jealous of how I live. Her parents are all up in her business and everything. I mean, she can't even own a vibrator for crying out loud. My dad would rather me have a vibrator than a guy. Haha. But I can easily hide things from my parents. Well... I only got Daddy. And his fiancee. But I don't talk to her much. She's awesome though, we just never talk. But I can go out partying, drink, smoke, blaze, have sex, and just be a teenager and come home and clean the appartment and make food and to laundry and sit on the internet and my dad wouldn't know.

Well... My Dad is doubting my sex life. He knows for sure that I've slept with Jeb, but other than that I've been telling him that I'm celibate. But my fucking little sister who lives with my mom, straight sold me out. Told Dad that I've fucked 7 guys. 1st off, it's 6. 2nd, what the hell did she do that for? So I told Rose (My older sister) the real number and even got her to tell Daddy that it was one. God I don't want him to know about my wanton sex life! So as far as he knows... It's still one, but I know he has doubts now.

I gotta sleep with Nick again for the second night in a row. We cuddled all night and I woke up in his arms. Well, I've always been able to cuddle with him. Even when we were taken by other people, that's just how we were. We didn't do anything. There were other people in the room, I'm on my period, and I just want to take it slow. I mean it. I don't want to mess anything up. Not only our new relationship as a couple is at stake this time. It's not just... "Oh... Fucked it up with another guy... Oh well, I'll find another one, I always do..." It's more like, I have my friendship with my best friend at stake. I can't mess this up. I just can't. I even made him promise that no matter what happens, we'll still always be best friends. But sometimes even that won't work. I am worried about how we'll end up. That thought scares me 24/7. I guess I just gotta put faith in our relationship and friendship. I woke up to Nick's arms just wrapped around me. He thought I was sleeping and kissed me on the cheek and goes, "I love you babe. With all my heart. I have since the day I met you, I always will." Kissed me again, and layed back down. I didn't move, he thought I was sleeping. Heehee, I wasn't.

Welcome to nuTang stop by sometime :-)
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